tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11206810050522019882024-02-08T02:36:33.350-08:00The Intricate PlotStunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-12303944736207081942008-10-13T19:08:00.000-07:002012-09-06T14:48:03.060-07:00Hepatitis: Not referenced nearly enough in Zagat's Restaurant Guide<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/yosemitesam.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/yosemitesam.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I've never really been the type of person that needs business cards (at least, beyond the fabled "Stunt Cock" business cards that nearly got me thrown out of "Buzzcut" Stipek's<a href="#1">[1]</a> <span style="font-style:italic;">Desktop Publishing</span> class). It's entirely possible that one day, though, I could wake up as that sort of an asshole. If so, serious consideration would be given to billing my profession as "Amateur Sociologist". Bad information from worse people can prove an invaluable resource, oftentimes more so than that of an allegedly reputable one. For example, nothing proves that the Stones are better than the Beatles with such succinct effortlessness as the negative Amazon reviews for "Exile on Main Street".<br /><blockquote><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">As for those who say Exile isn't an album but a place, I'm not sure I'm into the mystical stuff, but I left that place about 1975 and I don't care to go back there again. I guarantee you nobody has bothered to clean up the half-empty beer bottles, the bloody needles and the discarded condoms.</span>-<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A16H4WUENJWBME/ref=cm_cr_pr_auth_rev?ie=UTF8&sort_by=MostRecentReview">Some Jerkoff</a></blockquote><br />That comment makes a pretty convincing argument. At least, the argument that his wife presumably began cuckolding him before the ink could even dry on their sham of a marriage. Now, with his better half galavanting around town with a bottomless glass of White Zinfandel, the man devotes nearly all of his free-time to tireless labor in his garden. In no way is it hyperbole to marvel aloud at his horticultural feats. Selflessly, though, he deflects all compliments given to him, and his finely manicured lawn. The real hero? <a href="http://www.epinions.com/reviews/Garden_Claw">The garden claw</a>. Cultivating, weeding: important steps, no doubt. But the AERATING. Loosening the soil, letting oxygen penetrate the roots. The implement, friends, deserves the credit. He is merely a humble steward over a small patch of earth.<br /><br />The reason I lead with this anecdote of questionable relevancy is that it helps to illustrate the core values that define my love for New York City's very own, Patriot Saloon. A cursory peak at it's rating on metropolitan booze bible <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-patriot-saloon-new-york">Yelp</a> suggests mediocrity. Look closer, though.<br /><br />One reviewer spends over four-hundred words, begging and pleading for you to turn tail and run from this terrible, terrible place. They find it's mere existence an affront to decency. Akin to The Animals' definitive performance of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hg7jzi9JAkw">"House of the Rising Sun"</a>, they caution you to avoid ensnarement in it's tentacles of moral decay. These people obviously reek of fucking cowardice.<br /><br />Ignore such clowns. Their limp pulses and bourgeois sympathies comprise a cage far more inescapable than the steel bars Michael Bolton sang of. In fact, run contrary to the wishes of these callow, fragile naysayers. Rather, welcome the evil. Roll around in it. Marinate. Let it seep in, mingle with your blood. Make friends with the great Satan. You no longer even control your will. You are a mere vessel for terrible things. Democracy and reason left when you entered. Abandon all faith, forsake hope. You are <a href="http://api.ning.com/files/vpDGNY44G-I-KCdeS8jZXW*dzhtA9BIY9xjVqs6K7R-pEylqzUG0cYbBuID-Gc0gHbmh0cXDiMgd4Jx-lce0rNzrpXRHnT-g/krang.JPG">Krang</a>, and loathsome intent is that creepy brain thing in it's belly. Needless to say, it's intoxicating.<a href="#1">[2]</a> Don't listen to me, though. Listen to these excerpts from reviews lambasting the establishment:<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;">I walked by today and the chalkboard outside said, "Wanted: Shameless Slut Bartenders"<br /><br />I don't care what their reasoning is, that's offensive.</span></blockquote><br /><br />-------------------------------<br /><br /><blockquote><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">And I always do throw up from the Patriot. On the street. In the cab. In the apartment lobby.</span></blockquote><br /><br />-------------------------------<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;">I have to admit I have never bought a drink here. But my sister worked her for a short period of her lifetime and the stories she told me were both priceless and very very scary.</span></blockquote><br /><br />-------------------------------<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;">Seriously, are leather bustiers really acceptable to wear before 9:00 PM?</span></blockquote><br /><br />-------------------------------<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;">Do not go upstairs at the Patriot Saloon, especially not at 7 pm on a Tuesday night when folks up there have been drinking since noon!<br /><br />I am a huge dive bar fan and the cheap prices are oh-so-tempting (so is the fun Hank and Cash music) but ladies stay downstairs! The second me and a co-worker hit the 2nd level a dude fell out of his bar stool..this then lead to ice throwing and drink splashing. If it was a Saturday-more power to em' but a Tuesday night at 7? Lay off the lunch hour shots!</span></blockquote><br /><br />-------------------------------<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;">cheap beer is always nice, but a dive bar that needs its bartenders in pasties to establish atmosphere is too seedy for me.</span></blockquote><br /><br />-------------------------------<br /><br /><blockquote><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />This place is trashy and demoralizing. Will make you feel dirty and smell like piss.</span></blockquote><br /><br />-------------------------------<br /><br />Saturday was probably my least eventful trip to the Patriot ever. Yet, I still managed to wake up at 86th street, traveling on a Bronx-bound C train, at 4:30 in the morning. I live in Queens. For those unfamiliar with NYC geography, it's comparable to going out for drinks in Haiti, and coming out of a blackout in the Dominican Republic. Getting home isn't an impossibility, but you certainly complicated things for no good Goddamn reason<a href="#1">[3]</a>.<br /><br />After drunkenly pissing in a corner of the train station (my coronation as an official New Yorker, as far as I know), I apologized to a bum, dozing on a bench, for my uncouth behavior. He sagely nodded with understanding. In my shape, I needed to purge my system of toxins far more than he didn't need to see my limp dick, mere minutes before sunrise. That man was a saint, and I commend him both for the depths of his empathy, and for using the New York Times as a blanket (<a href="http://gawker.com/5046196/six-fun-reminders-to-start-boycotting-the-new-york-post">The Post</a> is unfit even for sheltering vagrants from inclement weather).<br /><br />I spent most of Sunday uncontrollably convulsing, shades of Michael J. Fox. If an AIDS patient got on the train after me, they would've hurriedly moved to the far end of the car, scared that whatever the fuck <span style="font-style:italic;">I</span> had could overtake their fragile immune system. Still, though; totally worth it. In honor of the mighty Patriot, here's a smattering of the kind of hillbilly shit I play on their jukebox. <br /><br />----------------------------<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581658-ea3" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581658-ea3" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Jerry Lee Lewis - "What's Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)"<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581703-fd1" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581703-fd1" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />David Allan Coe - "You Never Even Called Me By My Name"<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581675-7e1" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581675-7e1" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Tanya Tucker - "Delta Dawn"<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581679-3b9" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581679-3b9" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Roger Miller - "Chug-a-Lug"<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581691-cf4" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5581691-cf4" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard - "Pancho and Lefty"<br /><br />For those who don't approve of the latent white-trash streak running through me, I present to you an offering of Mystikal. If you somehow don't like David Allan Coe <span style="font-style:italic;">or</span> Mystikal, then you probably blow. Hard. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZOzgdsvDuPA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZOzgdsvDuPA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Mac & Mystikal - "Murda Murda, Kill Kill"<br /><br />By my math, he gets out of prison in January 2010. Needless to say, that will be absolute crack rock. Sadly, Mac will be locked up for much longer. In either case, both men have deep catalogs that more than justify "putting the tank on your casket". No Limit ain't never left, yadadamean?<br />-----------------------------<br /><br /><a name="1">[1]</a>Though it's tough not to be secretly enamored with any female whose celebrity doppelganger is <a href="http://p-images.veoh.com/thumb/w277/user-SgtSchultz19.jpg">Sergeant Schultz</a> from Hogan's Heroes.<br /><br /><a name="1">[2]</a>Pun not intended. Trust me. We're all better than that.<br /><br /><a name="1">[3]</a><a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/Map.jpg">An artists conception of my retardation</a>Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-1034399834399169382008-10-02T12:41:00.000-07:002008-10-02T13:47:59.189-07:00I Really Should Know Better<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/4EsNzYUl.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/4EsNzYUl.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It's rainy, the playoffs are on, and the Mets and Yankees are only identifiable by their dental records. After spending an afternoon watching the Brewers completely take a shit on me [right down to the pseudo-rally cocktease (exacerbated, of course, by Brad Lidge's annual post-season meltdown raising my hopes)], the Cubs jump into a 2-0 lead in the second game, and I head to the train for a night of work.<br /><br />Since the bar is dead, the crowd consists entirely of <a href="http://www.wackyarchives.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/popped-collar-3.jpg">bro's</a>, and the weather is fucking abysmal, I slap on my crutch playlist of arbitrarily-arranged classic rock obscurities to keep me entertained during my six hour marathon of self-indulgence and free Sam Adams.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top 5th, no outs, bases are empty</span>.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YJa-LmXLXPg&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YJa-LmXLXPg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />The Rolling Stones - "Happy"</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top 5th, 1 out, no men on.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/250/2468013497_6f5f783ce9.jpg?v=0">Rafael</a> Furcal walks. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top 5th, 1 out, one man on.</span><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U_qHU_6Ofc0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U_qHU_6Ofc0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />"James Gang - Funk #49"</span><br /><br />Russell <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1clUvvwKbE">Martin</a> flies out. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top 5th, 2 outs, one man on.</span><br /><br />Manny Ramirez walks.<br />Andre Ethier walks.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top 5th, 2 outs, bases fucking loaded.</span><br /><br />Ryan "Cum" Dempster gives up a grand slam. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">4-2 Dodgers.</span><br /><br />The place erupts with cheers and high-fives from NY baseball fans, and the only voice of dissent is the word "Fuck", screamed out of the DJ booth, followed by the sound of me punching something hard enough that typing this is difficult.<br /><br />As Furcal crosses home plate, the James Gang ends.<br /><br />Up next:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lw2UWx6VTMk&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lw2UWx6VTMk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><span style="font-style:italic;"><br />ZZ Top - "Jesus Just left Chicago"</span><br /><br />If I, in any way, jinxed them, I should be subject to African tribal genital mutilation. God Fucking Damn It.<br /><br />---------------------------------------<br /><br />I realize that I'm long fucking overdue for an update. Furthermore, it is in no way an update to anyone that a) the Cubs do this to me every year, and b) I have anger issues. I assure you I will finish a real post in the near future, and that it will give you all the joy of an <a href="http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/dayart/20071129/450Geddes_flower.jpg">Anne Geddes photo</a>[1], but with far less latent-pedophilia. To tide you over in the meantime, enjoy Elephant Man[2] acting like a complete maniac over a sample of the Benny Hill theme song.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/draft_lens1751364module6993833photo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/draft_lens1751364module6993833photo.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5501242-0ac" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5501242-0ac" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Elephant Man - "No Tikkle"</span><br /><br /><br />-----------------------------------------<br />[1]Just so we're on the same page, that <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> supposed to be a vagina, right?<br /><br />[2] Note: Do not engorge yourself on salami, and then google "Elephant Man". You may think you're gonna get <a href="http://musicremedy.com/webfiles/artists/ElephantMan/ElephantMan-01-big.jpg">this</a>, but you're way more likely to get <a href="http://paxarcana.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/elephant_man.jpg">this</a>. Or <a href="http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens1751364module6993812photo_ChineseElephantMan1.jpg">this</a>. Lesson fucking learned.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-65050527133997468082008-07-03T01:39:00.001-07:002008-07-03T09:33:43.718-07:00Mr. Bad Example<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7hl9Tw2GzvA&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7hl9Tw2GzvA&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />When I was in 8th grade, shortly after moving to Wisconsin, I was taken under the wing of my aunt's chain-smoking, whiskey-drinking boyfriend Jeff. Assessing my juvenile sense of humor, emotional retardation, and memorization of the Led Zeppelin catalog as the marks of a kindred spirit, Jeff launched a platform to be implemented across various taverns and living rooms around Northeastern Wisconsin: to get fall down the stairs shit-faced and talk endlessly about music[1]. The first time I met him, he took my cousin Kali and I out in his Thunderbird, driving 90 mph down rural Illinois roads and shouting about how much he liked <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=jywZEjSiCBM">Cracker</a>[2], and how the original T-Bird's featured a radio that got louder as you accelerated. This initial exchange set the template for most of our future interactions, and likely most of my fondest college memories. In hindsight, of course, the fact that I could barely get into a PG-13 movie at the time is mildly troubling. God willing, my reckless streak lasts long enough that I can one day afford my children such a divine opportunity.<br /><br />Once our meetings started occurring at regular intervals, Jeff's schizophrenic record collection gave me an opening to plunge into <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vrhn8l9Yluc">Primus</a>[3], <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=bsRNCvHXHHU">Patsy Cline</a>, and all points in between. To this day, I consider myself lucky that I had someone to introduce me the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=quLqEu4mUOU">Dead Kennedys</a> and the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=vTWpnWccOyw">Circle Jerks</a>, particularly at an age where I staunchly supported the artistic merits of <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/bush3.jpg">Bush</a>[4]. Shit, he even took me to see the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=1er4v9eERGw">Statler Brothers</a> in Milwaukee, only to get hammered and spend the entire time shouting about how <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/harold.jpg">Harold</a> should go solo[5]. <br /><br />It was truly a golden era. Yet, times passed and things changed, as times and things are prone to do, and Jeff dropped off the face of the earth. Even in his absence, though, the music lingered. None more so than his favorite artist, Warren Zevon. Zevon, known to most for the 70's radio staple <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=bjCsrZYC6jo">"Werewolves of London"</a>, spent the better part of thirty years writing dark, complicated, and often hilarious songs about sex and death. A true pioneer, he explored the core motivational aspects of our mosts carnal behaviors, while most of his Southern California contemporaries were too busy writing vapid odes to geography, and banging underage prostitutes[6]. While an asshole like Don Henley will be haunting my children's children from the factory-radios of their flying cars, Warren is unfairly relegated to a historical footnote, like he's fucking <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=KbdyrRlYR2E">Mungo Jerry</a> or something[7]. As my record collection grew to greater and more ridiculous bounds during my high school years, I tried to fill in all of the bizarre corners of the music world I had obsessed over when I lacked any sort of income. However, Zevon's relative obscurity (and a lack of follow-through that lingers to this day) truncated all attempts to move beyond my initial dubbed cassettes rather quickly. At that point, it was easier to enjoy my weather-beaten copy of "Excitable Boy", and just plunge instead into the noisy indie rock that seems to find all shaggy-haired, ego-maniacal high school boys.<br /><br />Fast-forward to my sophomore year of college, the first of multiple attempts for <a href="http://www.namedropacid.blogspot.com">Ryan</a> and I to merge like Voltron. The majority of my waking hours consisted of blasting old rap, playing NBA Jam, and blacking out from malt liquor. Ryan's days were fleshed in by the full time job of bottling his escalating rage over the success of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=OuBmiu68ECU">DJ Sammy</a>, and writing an electronic composition that consisted of the word "attention" being modified and distorted endlessly until I began to weep. In summation, we were both terribly lame, and on vastly different pages. It would be completely justified if Ryan and Anthony (present day) were to hop into DeLoreans and beat some fucking sense into our 2002 incarnations. Respective failures aside, though, our team-building exercise ran like a well-oiled machine: tandem viewings of David Letterman. Now granted, between Wop Wednesday (named for the drink, not the Italian racial epithet), night classes, house parties, and various other distractions, we'd only catch it intermittently. But the times we did watch Letterman were always our equivalent of a 1950's nuclear family reconnecting around the dinner table[8].<br /><br />One night, after a virtually non-existent monologue, Dave sat at his desk and explained that the show's format was undergoing a one-time-only deviation from the norm: it was to be devoted entirely to Warren Zevon. Recently diagnosed with a rare type of lung cancer (mesothelioma), his doctor gave him the ominous prognosis of mere weeks left to live. Being close friends with David on both a personal and professional level, Letterman dedicated an entire show to him, in an effort to draw attention to Zevon's dynamic body of work. For the next hour, Warren, always sort of a dark cat, told a series of dry, hilarious anecdotes, all illuminating the stark, bleak truth[9]. Then, he performed three selections from his epic back catalog, straining to hit each note as his cancerous throat fought back against him. Needless to say, Ryan and I were profoundly affected, and both of us plunged much further into his body of work; devoting radio shows and personal income to his celebration, and pulling a pretty thick John the Baptist routine on anyone we thought we could convert[10].<br /><br />Since then, Warren has been in and out of our lives. Some friends, such as Simeon and Melissa, have responded well, and connected on the level that we envisioned at the start of the exercise. Others clutch their rosary beads, in desperate hope that my streak of musical necrophilia ends sooner rather than later. One crucial obstacle to our crusade has always been that we lacked a tangible way to communicate just how staggering the Letterman episode truly was. CBS only replayed it once: the day after his death. Furthermore, they attempted to quash any YouTube linking, and assailed tape traders on the internet as well. Years later, though, Warren's wife and children have finally emancipated a load of his non-traditionally released material from draconian copyright law, and it's been well worth the wait.<br /><br />----------------------------<br /><br />To begin, here's the second, third, and fourth clips from that night's episode. When combined with the initial clip (posted above) it amounts to about 95% of the total content from that night. Due to either Viacom reappraising the internet's role in entertainment (unlikely), or the cobwebs of disinterest shielding the clip from their view (far more likely), this epic piece of history is at least currently available to spread dude's gospel.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CmjTQqJXtgs&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CmjTQqJXtgs&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - Interview Part 2/"Mutineer" (live on Letterman)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZrsCBmgUZxc&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZrsCBmgUZxc&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - "Genius" (live on Letterman)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9p9CxJazR_U&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9p9CxJazR_U&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner" (live on Letterman)<br /><br />-----------------------<br /><br />Secondly, the good people at Archive.org have spent over a decade stockpiling an amalgam of multimedia documents, in the hopes of creating a comprehensive online library. One of the most interesting segments of their collection is the recorded music wing. Since most business-minded people fear what new technology could do to their bottom line, your average musician on archive.org is either someone whose works have been considered public domain for years (old folk/blues recordings), independent musicians (who aren't selling anything anyway), or hippies that think the internet is a magical tapestry of puppy dog tales and ethereal hokum (the Grateful Dead). <br /><br />However, in an effort to simply expose the world to the genius of his works, Zevon's children and ex-wife have signed documents allowing any live recording which doesn't fall under an existing contract to be shared for free on the site. While wading through the <a href="http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=title%3A%28warren%20zevon%29"> 71 concerts</a>(!!!) currently available may seem initially daunting, I assure you that the gold there (ranked according to rating, set lists, and year of production) makes the exercise well worth your time. Here's a few selections, mostly early stuff. The newer stuff is amazing as well, but some of the production works better after you're acclimated to his work. These cuts hit you from the jump.<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4848747-0da" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4848747-0da" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - "Carmelita" (live radio performance w/ Jackson Browne)(12/08/1976)<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4849339-971" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4849339-971" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - "Desparados Under the Eaves" (live radio performance) (10/13/1976)<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4849338-888" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4849338-888" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - "Mohammed's Radio" (live radio performance) (10/13/1976)<br /><br />----------------------------<br /><br />Finally, here's a couple more live clips of Zevon, including a few other Letterman appearances. His post-1980 work is very Leonard Cohen-esque, where a lot of the production choices aged terribly on the studio renditions, with an over-reliance on synthesized instruments and clunky arrangements. The songs themselves are still impeccable, though, as evidenced by the lyrics I've also linked below. Not everything reaches <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=xeFVFz0XTa8">this great height</a>, but it's all still pretty phenomenal.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aN7QjW2KJkM&hl=en"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aN7QjW2KJkM&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - <a href="http://www.actionext.com/names_w/warren_zevon_lyrics/renegade.html">"Renegade"</a> (live in Atlanta, 1993)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iXuqidS3Yd8&hl=en"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iXuqidS3Yd8&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - <a href="http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/w/warrenzevon4114/mrbadexample1111071.html">"Mr. Bad Example"</a> (on Letterman)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/S5puAN1PGQw&hl=en"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/S5puAN1PGQw&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - <a href="http://www.actionext.com/names_w/warren_zevon_lyrics/lawyers_guns_money.html">"Lawyers, Guns, & Money"</a> (on the BBC)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SxBHpYlDOfw&hl=en"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SxBHpYlDOfw&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />Warren Zevon - <a href="http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/z/zevonwarren16200/splendidisolation440641.html">"Splendid Isolation"</a> (on Letterman)<br /><br /><br />-------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br />[1]...and hating the Jews, but I mainly just nodded and nervously smiled during that part.<br />[2]<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=_MEVWHMaFR8">This</a> is actually my favorite Cracker song, but the nuanced tone doesn't lend itself quite as nicely to the finer points of reckless child endangerment.<br />[3]Though I would like the record to reflect that in many cases, I was already aware of the artist from my television obsessed youth. I mean, no self-respecting child raised by Time Warner Cable in the early 90's could possibly forget <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=dzhL-0_pC3E">"Wynonna's Big Brown Beaver"</a>.<br />[4]Oh Gavin, in retrospect your fame truly is as comical as <span style="font-style:italic;">his</span> presidency. Even if I still embarrassingly hum along with <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZnIjTHIUkH0">"Swallowed"</a>.<br />[5]Trust me. The elderly, western-clad people seated all around us were not nearly as amused as I was.<br />[6]Y'all have no idea how close I came to naming my blog "FuckYouDonHenley".<br />[7]I won't delve too much into Zevon's fascinating back story, because that's what <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Zevon">Wikipedia</a> is for, though I will say that the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27ll_Sleep_When_I%27m_Dead:_The_Dirty_Life_and_Times_of_Warren_Zevon">recent book written by his wife</a> is fucking revelatory, even for people that have zero interest in the man, or his works.<br />[8]"240 women sharing 3 showers? What is this - Vassar?"<br />[9]When asked if he's learned anything now that he's living on borrowed time, Zevon replied "I guess I've learned to enjoy every sandwich". If I ever say anything even half that clever, put it on my fucking urn.<br />[10]After deliberating, I decided to link to <a href="http://namedropacid.blogspot.com/2006/08/greatest-thing-i-have-ever-seen-on_03.html">Ryan's account of this tale</a>, in spite of the fact that it's better written, contains far less superfluous garbage, and was written like two years before I got around to covering it. Hopefully that act of writing karma will deflect any of the heat that I deserve for writing my most masturbatory blog entry yet, employing some pretty abominable syntax in the process.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-77414569490310964202008-06-02T21:11:00.000-07:002008-06-09T22:54:08.743-07:00I am a twelve year old girl<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.crookedbush.com/jasonsilver/free_mp3_downloads/images/she_loves_me_not.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.crookedbush.com/jasonsilver/free_mp3_downloads/images/she_loves_me_not.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Or maybe she does love me. I don't know. What I do know is that about a year ago, I reached the next destination of my ongoing <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vision_quest">vision quest</a>. Or at least, it's sort of like a vision quest. But instead of depriving myself of all nutrients and waiting for spirituality to descend via malnutrition hallucinations, I drink copious amounts of shitty domestic beer and look for said spirituality in records that contain some righteous fucking drums. I want to put as much distance as possible between myself and other white people, and rhythm seems like a nice back-up plan, in the event that the winning combination of bad credit and admiration for NBA neck tattoos can't quite seal the deal together[1].<br /><br />Anyway, as I reconnected to the internet, trying to make up for eighteen months of listening almost exclusively to vinyl, bar jukeboxes, and the music I put on my iPod right after <a href="http://www.sydesjokes.com/pictures/c/cum_santa.jpg">Santa came</a>, I stumbled upon a leak of the latest album by the National. So as not to further bore everyone that's heard me rave about <a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/43053-boxer">that record</a> endlessly, I'll simply reiterate that I think its the cat's ass[2]. So, being heavily enamored with them at the time, and reacquainting myself with frequent live music treks to Milwaukee, it was only a matter of time before I laid down some newspaper, and popped my National cherry. Unsurprisingly, they were fantastic. The arrangements were peculiar, but interesting. "Mr. November" was a great encore. I'd imagine this could all be read about in greater detail on a blog with actual standards, frequent updates, and an interest in content beyond <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=x2B272u8WHU">"I simpwy wuuuuuv <3 UGK !!!!11!ONE!!!!"</a> and "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=JMeWAtNIPxc">Keith Richards is the greatest guitar player ever</a>"[3].<br /><br />The National, though, were in no way, shape, or form the pinnacle. You just sort of knew they would be amazing, and thus you took them for granted, like the 23rd beer in the case. I am serious as a fucking AIDS test when I say that the <a href="http://www.mcowen.com/images/Katrina/New_Orleans_Underwater-3.jpg">high-water mark</a> was <a href="http://www.myspace.com/stvincent">St. Vincent</a>. I had familiarized myself with the record and liked what I heard, but the trickles of insight actually came after reading the <a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/45081-guest-list-st-vincent">interview</a> where she explained the background of her album title, and revealed herself as really funny and neurotic. So, when she took the stage with a single guitar and a sampling pedal, with no band in sight, I slumped into my seat, anticipating a shit sandwich on turd bread.<br /><br />Then the freshly layered chord progressions started swirling, and it staggered the first thirty rows of people. Thoroughly stunned, I looked at at <a href="http://www.rmichelson.com/Artist_Pages/deGroat/Pics/Super-Ted-Cover.jpg">Ted</a> and <a href="http://www.neffa.org/dan.jpg">Dan</a> [4] to verify it wasn't simply the PBR that was mystifying me. Then I uprighted myself, waiting for the heavy applause to subside. This rather lengthy wait also provided ample opportunity to begin shifting gears into serious artistic evaluation mode, since we undoubtedly spent the car ride over passionately discussing just how funny poop and pee really are. Yet, before I could turn off the juvenile part of my brain to keep up with the gravitas of her performance, a weird thing happened; she started telling jokes. Like, nervous one-liners, shit with punch lines, things that she clearly stammered accidentally in Omaha, but later molded into top-grade stage banter. She was hilarious. And she covered "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=4YIp1g8p5V0">Dig a Pony</a>". Basically, the whole thing gave me a throbbing, purple, indierection for like 36 hours[5].<br /><br />So all this time, as I've tried to be a somewhat realistic man in most facets of my life, there has remained my completely unrealistic pipe dream that St. Vincent and I will one day share spiral-shaped Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (one bowl, two spoons) in an oversized papasan chair, while watching a televised baseball game and listening to early Pavement records. That vision of domestic hipster bliss, however, has been shattered, however, as my beating heart has redirected it's focus, leaving sweet Annie Clark in the lurch[6].<br /><br />Last weekend, as <a href="http://namedropacid.blogspot.com/">Ryan</a>, <a href="http://www.groningermuseum.nl/uploads/AntonCorbijnMilesDavis4.jpg">Miles</a>, and I <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=UN2VNFpiGWo">journeyed to the center of our minds</a>/pelvises/all points in between, events crescendoed until we arrived at some sort of an art mall, waiting to see Dan Deacon play at an avante-garde music festival at 4am. Irritatingly, the draconian alcohol policy required me to bribe a Starbucks employee for a sleeve of cups. Said cups proved worth their weight in gold, though, as they allowed us to take overpriced beers from the mall bar, and stroll around with them towards the stage area proper. As our grift sharpened, our consciousness expanded, and our hubris grew, we abandoned our brief stint behaving civilly in public, and returned to drunken cavorting at peak volume. In the midst of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=UEdFxjje7dI">intoxicated Ryan and Anthony argument #2,739,202</a>, I discussed the line-up of the <a href="http://www.bangonacan.org/">event we were at</a>, and cavalierly referred to guitar player <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=_tF77_yU39g">Marnie Stern</a> as "dope". That, friends, is where my path diverged into the yellow wood.<br /><br />During the tirade, captured for posterity on Ryan's James Bond camera, a tiny voice peeps up in the background. "Really? You think I'm dope??" At this point, we are introduced to the genuine fucking article herself. I then proceed to mislead myself into thinking I was charming Marnie Stern, guitar virtuoso and foxy foxy lady, in an exchange thankfully recorded for the initial 90 seconds alone. The next twenty minutes can only be remembered in my head, where I was unbelievably debonair, and both artist and her flamboyant manager alike were knocked on their asses by my penetrating wit and insight. While this segment failed to make the now battery deprived camera, it's probably for the best, as legend has undoubtedly eclipsed stark, brutal reality.<br /><br />The night went on, Dan Deacon rocked our faces off, and we left to drink past sunrise, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=yZSWSJVIwgg">listen to Juvenile</a>, and track down <a href="http://blog.flexonline.com/Milos%202.jpg">Milos</a>. But nothing lingers in my subconscious the way that Marnie Stern has[7].<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.stylusmagazine.com/images/hi/070409-marnie-stern-01.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.stylusmagazine.com/images/hi/070409-marnie-stern-01.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />St. Vincent, we'll always have Milwaukee. But the world is too cold for a delicate flower like you. All celebrity crushes from this point forward will all be gauged by their finger-tapping guitar solo ability, followed immediately by how adorable their voice is. I think its an air-tight plan.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/marniestern1">Get familiar, dear readers. Get familiar.</a><br /><br />-------------------------------------<br /><br />For a more nuanced take on the actual event we attended, direct your sweet ass to <a href="namedropacid.blogspot.com">NameDropAcid</a>. It's a trade-off, though, since he makes way less weiner jokes than I do. But, there's actual video of the performances, and various other bullshit I'm way to solipsistic to concern myself with. I know you all care far more about which brilliant musicians I've reduced to masturbation fuel. And I love you all for it. Hugs and Kisses, blog land!<br /><br />EDIT: Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Marnie Stern and her manager's hilarious reaction to Ryan's business card. The business card is such a blend of genius and retarded that only Pootie Tang, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlHw5JpCmZY">golden-era DipSet</a> exist on the same ethereal plane. While they didn't seem to think anything was bizarre about a drunken sweaty guy with a bad beard fawning over her MySpace page, they asked about five questions in an attempt to clarify just what the fuck Ryan hoped to accomplish with his business cards. That, I would imagine, is the point of having such a brilliant fucking business card. Kudos.<br /><br />-------------------------------------<br /><br />[1] The concept of a tandem that's worth far less than the sum of it's parts will forever be known as "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mega-Maniacs">The Mega-Maniacs Phenomenon</a>", since it's rather astounding just how inferior they were as a tag team to my beloved "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=cvV8nA7WghI">Money Inc</a>".<br /><br />[2] <a href="http://www.jonco48.com/blog/smellgood.jpg">And as the king of the jungle reminds us, few things are as intoxicating as a cat's ass</a><br /><br />[3] As many of you know, I know consider his bandmate <a href="http://wakajawank.multiply.com/video/item/105">Mick Taylor</a> a better guitar player, but you know this because I'm long winded and redundant, which was the point of that aside.<br /><br />[4] From this point forward, all supporting characters in boring stories I tell will be represented by the first result from a google image search of their name. Feel free to start an internet petition that I never meet anyone named <a href="http://files.myopera.com/naturallyspeaking/blog/lance.jpg">Lance</a>.<br /><br />[5] Or 253 days. A horse a piece.<br /><br />[6] Initially, I abbreviated that as "A.C.", until fear struck that lackadaisical readers may think I have dreams of entering an unholy sexual union with the members of <a href="http://nicaraweb.com/imagenes/ms-ac-goregrind-nica.blogspot.com.jpg">Anal Cunt</a>.<br /><br />[7] Well, maybe <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-patriot-saloon-new-york">the Patriot</a>. But, that's only because I need to keep the legend in the pipeline until I can rally the troops for an epic trip to their almighty jukebox. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=tiO3SIOOc_4">"Jolene"</a> doesn't play itself, mu'fucka.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-72585808726966490822008-05-20T14:55:00.000-07:002008-05-21T15:20:24.088-07:00Shout It Out Loud<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://media.monstersandcritics.com/articles/1336535/article_images/paul.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://media.monstersandcritics.com/articles/1336535/article_images/paul.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4554139-134" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=4554139-134" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />So about thirty-five years ago, when the whims of fat white women dominated the billboard charts[1], there was a product called "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Having_Fun_with_Elvis_on_Stage">Elvis Having Fun On Stage</a>". Essentially, it was the culminating act in Colonel Tom Parker's lifelong platform to suck every fucking last marketable molecule out of Elvis Aaron Presley's bloated pre-corpse[2]. Without underselling the vast, complicated tapestry of awful that acted as marrow in the sonic abortion, it's basic format was Elvis doing stand-up comedy. At least, Elvis doing stand-up comedy, but with the role of "humor" being played by "epic fucking tragedy". Forty minutes of on-stage banter. Hiccups. Humming. Awkward half-jokes. Edited together by some Nazi after their cash cow, the aforementioned EAP, was deemed disappointingly unproductive. <br /><br />In short, it's one of the reasons why people like myself are fiddling as the record industry burns towards a fucking self-created, fourth-circle-of-hell degree of flaming fucked. So legendary was this relic of Elvis' pill-hound decay that, long out of print, it became mythologized the way shitty things often are. Inevitably, the indie-rock crowd needed to pay homage, because as we all know, ironic comedy was the Lord's seventh day masterwork [3]. The second act was cast, with the lead role played by Robert Pollard of Guided By Voices. GBV (one of the few indie rock bands wise enough to realize that it's members are interchangeable components merely designed to approximate the best of Pere Ubu) was led by Robert Pollard; an alcoholic elementary school teacher with a loose tongue. <br /><br />As he toured the country endlessly, drunkenly disparaging every other musician alive or dead during his epic stage banter, he assembled an aggregate of raw material that even an Jimmy Buffet fan could compile into a relatively charming slab of high-octane drunk shouting. The magnificent bearded bastard eventually took these soundboard mixes, and edited them together into a drunken sound collage of genius/retardation called "<a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/20957-relaxation-of-the-asshole">Relaxation of the Asshole</a>". There's a fucking rant entitled "My Brother's a Better Guitar Player Than Joan Jett" for Christ Sakes. It's comedy gold; and like all all divine humor, rooted in the truth.<br /><br />Anyway, tangents, excessive context, and three Natty Ice cans later, it's rather evident that there's a larger point here, and said point is this:<br /><br />Kicking Elvis when he was down was rather shitty, but at the very least, it gave us a lens through which we could hilariously illuminate the minor flaws of a canonical indie rock artist. Said lens, though, lends itself far more fascinatingly to a more nuanced examination of these people/car crashes than either of the instances above. Nuances of editing, let me clarify; not people of nuance.<br /><br />Paul Stanley, the mouthpiece of the KISS army, could never be considered a man of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=q7fxN3g5sLw">subtle tones</a>[4]. Since even the extreme loyalists would grow nauseous listening to <a href="http://www.nndb.com/people/151/000023082/">Brother Chaim's</a> lengthy treatises on poonannie ad infinitum, Paul holds the reins during the set, in order to keep people that purchased $700 concert tickets from throwing up on adjacent members of the <a href="http://blog.nj.com/jets/2007/11/small_Jets%20Fan.jpg">New York Jets Set</a>[5]. Inasmuch as they tour with the zest of <a href="http://www.newsnet5.com/news/1184416/detail.html">Shawn Kemp avoiding welfare police</a>, though, the guy sort of has to make up the banter as he goes along. God knows the ocean of d-bags that would see Gene and the boys in Giants Stadium would know if the banter was pre-written. This ongoing exercise in improv is obviously complicated by the brain damage that comes from thirty years of aqua net skull absorbtion, and having intercourse with Cher[6]. In short, there's a perfect storm of idiocy, ripe to be ripped from it's already fragile context and reappropriated for evil and mischief. Thankfully, one magnificent bastard did just that, splicing and editing years of it together, creating the Mona Lisa of arena rock banter. <br /><br />"All right Richmond, Virginia: Is this, or is this not, THE ROCK AND ROLL CAPITOL OF VIRGINIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"<br /><br />I couldn't have said it better myself, Paul.<br /><br />*begins slow clap*<br /><br />--------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Pull up a chair, pour a nice tall glass of <a href="http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1822,145169-255192,00.html">glogg</a>[7], and put on your headphones. Without further ado, the funniest thing I've listened to in almost a year:<br /><a href="http://www.divshare.com/download/3488321-40d"><br />Paul Stanley - People Let Me Speak From My Chest</a><br /><br />(via <a href="http://the21gunsalute.blogspot.com/">the21gunsalute</a>)<br /><br />[1]unlike <a href="http://idolator.com/370740/its-alright-na-shes-only-bleeding-leona-lewis-vaults-past-mariah">today</a>, obviously<br /><br />[2] I consider ejaculate-worthy material such as "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=033eaEwHpwU">Suspicious Minds</a>" to be flukes, albeit goddamn phenomenal ones<br /><br />[3] At least, that's how Genesis reads in that Old Testament bible I found in the Lorimer train station in Williamsburg.<br /><br />[4] The joke at the 4:51 mark supports my thesis<br /><br />[5] And in spite of all of this, terrifyingly, I'm warming up to KISS, even as a jaded mu'fucka in my mid-20's. I'm wearing a garlic cod-piece out of fear that the specter of Eagles appreciation cannot be too far behind.<br /><br />[6] Technically, this may have actually been Eric Carr, or Gene Simmons. However, I reserve the right to lump every one of these assholes together into an monolithic amalgam, until six months from now when I rip off Chuck Klosterman and claim that Stanley is actually a sensitive genius, unfairly miscast as a misogynistic, phallocentric musician/super-hero<br /><br />[7] Obviously Paul Stanley's Swedish Christmas beverage of choice, referenced on track 36, during one of many introductions for "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=qj8j1UBhT04">Cold Gin</a>". It's a nice way to kick off the portion of the album recorded in Sweden, where Paul attempts to win over the tow-headed masses with mispronounced cheeky Scandinavian phrases. Really people, it doesn't get any better than this.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-81385190218408678382008-03-27T16:11:00.001-07:002008-03-27T17:11:31.204-07:00Midwesteren Alcoholism Part Two: Electric Boogaloo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.currentfilm.com/images3/replacementsdvdcover.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.currentfilm.com/images3/replacementsdvdcover.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Yesterday was pretty much the walking sequel to <a href="http://superfurryanthony.blogspot.com/2008/03/been-long-time-shouldnt-have-left-you.html">to the documented day prior</a>, but everything was more stark, bleak, and drunken. And I had to sit in a 4x4 DJ booth, staring at plywood/computer monitors for eight hours, drinking Guinness[1]. Thus, all of the same faux-analyses apply, except instead of the glass being "half-full", the glass was "half-empty". And there were thirteen "completely empties" sitting around me. And an aging graffiti writer gave me directions to a <a href="http://www.duffsbrooklyn.com/home.shtml">local metal bar</a> on the back of a receipt for an order of chicken wings. And I had crumbs from my turkey sandwich all over my Fred Sanford T-Shirt. Thus, my emotionally crippled doppleganger was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Westerberg">Paul Westerberg</a>, not John Fogerty. Viva la <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/audiography/530217.html">Replacements</a>!![2]<br /><br />-----------------------------<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ap0p7mhu4w0&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ap0p7mhu4w0&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Replacements - "Bastards of Young" [3]<br /><br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tOkyenYJEaw&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tOkyenYJEaw&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Replacements - "Answering Machine"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xPAmM0rR4yg&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xPAmM0rR4yg&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Replacements - "The Ledge"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rBVkSpsCLnA&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rBVkSpsCLnA&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Replacements - "Achin' to Be"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IINrFUCF8-g&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IINrFUCF8-g&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Replacements - "Goddamn Job"/"Junior's Got a Gun" (Live in '81, at the 7th Street Entry)<br /><br />--------------------------------------------<br /><br />[1] Actually, it was <a href="http://ratebeer.com/beer/bare-knuckle-stout/22833/">Bare Knuckle Stout</a>, and they gave it to me when I ordered <a href="http://ratebeer.com/beer/guinness-draught/1267/">Guinness</a> on my first night. I didn't quibble, because I figured my constantly crashing computer and my tendency to get drunk and play <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=X8kswnqT-LY">Social Distortion</a> repeatedly would alienate my coworkers soon enough anyway; I didn't need to accelerate it by starting a fit over being served an Anheuser-Busch knock-off at 6:45 in the evening. Shit, what's 63 RateBeer points between friends??<br /><br />[2] And I swear, in spite of the fact that I could probably fill a page-a-day calendar with drunken white man music, this will be my last "James Joyce, document my day through shit/shower/shave to slumber" entry for awhile. Godspeed, blogosphere.<br /><br />[3] Yes, that's the real, MTV-aired video. These guys are that fucking awesome.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-52400545392909099852008-03-25T22:41:00.000-07:002008-03-26T01:04:18.450-07:00Been a long time, shouldn't have left you without a post to reflect to...(c) Timbaland (BT)[1]<br /><br />So I've been working on a post about <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=EVhgHDL5-qY">Warren Zevon</a>/the long strange trip I've been on (macro and micro, ladies and gentlemen). And it's interesting (at least to me), but at the same time, I'm creeping into that oh so familiar territory where I don't update this for months at a time, and it's for such nonsense as going on a bender, or realizing they play "Martin" episodes at 2:30 AM, or other such bullshit. In the meantime, the reason I started doing this wasn't because the pretentious bullshit that interests ME is of interest to you, it's because the gaps between that bullshit draw you back. Sometimes I lose that, and end up talking about old Dismemberment Plan b-sides. Thus, to give my half dozen[2] readers what they desperately crave, here is what I'd give you if I were next to you, drinking high life and watching the Brewers.<br /><br />I had this really interesting conversation about the nature of people from rural areas, and the optimism, friendliness, and other Jimmy Stewart [4] traits that they seem to bring with them when they embark on a metropolis. Where our ideological paths diverged, however, was that while the catalyst of said conversation thought that they all sought out kindred spirits, and thus ended up lonely/unfufilled, I thought of myself/Buck Owens/Gomer Pyle/Girl you knew from high school with pigtails that probably lives in the West Village now, as that sort of cleansing, one part-per-million component that leaves a wide trail of reflection in their wake. Now, I'm not meaning to suggest that my time in the city, nor that of any other country-fried jackass, is as some sort of Johnny Applesee-inspired ambassador of traditional values, knock-knock jokes, and other such cinnamon in the applesauce. However, I think that a reminder now and again of why you do what you do is important.<br /><br />I apologize for the melodramatic explanation, because I assure you, even people on Wall Street trading baby carcasses had a more socially profound day than I had. However, the day was a classic Anthony day, those that typically inspire the sort of "what does it all mean" questions that most people abandon after they leave high school/<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fueled_by_Ramen">Fueled By Ramen records</a>. I bookended my day, on the floor, in Queens, with baseball. <a href="http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/10/31/ellsbury_scores_with_fans_at_steal_a_taco_promotion?mode=PF">Tacoby Bellsbury</a>'s phenomenal catch, millions of Japanese watching opening day with the fervor of our grandparents, and Bystol making off color comments at ten-year-olds for drafting relievers out of turn. In short, the kind of day where I have an endless half-stock before I even check the updates page on SpankWire. In the middle, I read a little Steinbeck, did some laundry, prepared for my Fantasy Baseball draft, grocery shopped, and played Smash Bros.<br /><br />Basically, this was exactly the sort of day that is the reason I'm 24 years old, quasi-employed, and sleep on a floor. However, as I set about lofting my ridiculous circumstances towards a profundity I could never reach, but incessantly claim after beer four, I soundtracked it all with Creedence. And all was good.<br /><br />Nearly everyone I know has heard me extol the virtues of "Lodi", one of the greatest songs of all time. To be brief, since you've all heard the pitch ad infinitum, "Lodi" is <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1_M_L_RSI">"Piano Man"</a> for people that aren't emotionally/intellectually retarded. John Fogerty's yarn is about spending the rest of your life in a town you never planned on being in for more than 24 hours, and the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus">Sisyphean</a> struggle of trying to get the fuck out with some goddamn dignity. From the opening chords to the staggering key change at the end, it's a crash course in empathy, and it belongs on God/Allah/Jah/Jordan's fucking jukebox in spot A Fucking 1. <br /><br />But, as I lazily drifted through the day, taking a nap, pleading with the Asian Laundromat operators not to fuck up my Blackhawks jersey, delicately testing the freshness of my produce, downloading songs from third grade to play for drunks tomorrow at work, I realized that I needed a bit beyond "Lodi", and simply played through Chronicle[5], about nine times.<br /><br />From there, I jammed the fuck out of everything: the wise cover of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=7052IDTFuFQ">"Proud Mary"</a> took me through the bakery while I bought glazed donuts, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZHIop4mhRro">"Have You Ever Seen the Rain" </a> was the daily song that the neighbors have to listen to me karoake during my unreasonably-late-in-the-day shower, and "Hey Tonight" guided me through my daily "send out one resume so that way you can sleep without waking up in a sweat about how your sole occupation is playing Bon Jovi for people from Jersey" routine. John Fogerty's vocal rang true on each one, but the big three were "Lodi", "Long as I Can See the Light", and "Someday Never Comes".<br /><br />As much as the guy has written some of the greatest good time music ever (Shit, fucking Jeff Lebowski references him as such), I think we all forget that barring the aforementioned Van Morrison, John Fogerty may be the greatest white soul singer of rock and roll's formative years. "Looking Out My Back Door" hilariously invokes acid confusion (though only his hairdresser knows for sure), "Down on the Corner" is on every Time Life "Music of the 1960's" box set for the next century, and "Fortunate Son" addresses politicism in a way that truly captures the angst of those affected, not simply limousine liberals who rally against any land-owning white man's cause. However, his true gift is that he managed through every A and B side to lend a gravity to subjects that his contemporaries never could have. As played out as my Billy Joel/"Lodi" comparison is, I fucking dare you to place "Someday Never Comes" against anything ever written by Art Alexakis, and not end up wanting to beat all of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=i8uamNDLEA0">Everclear</a> to death with a fucking crowbar. The reason the man is a national treasure is that he's genuine, without being heavy handed. He writes for all of us, though gives us the credit that what we would write would be "Grapes of Wrath", and not the Nickelback song most of my tenth grade shop class probably would have penned. He's probably the only classic rock dinosaur that gets trotted out on every awards show tribute imaginable, yet never comes off as tired, pathetic, or dated. Instead, he gives a context to things that flatters, without ever pandering, nor bludgeoning you with obviousness. Just as it makes my pathetic, post-collegiate road trip come off as a profound journey of ambition and self-discovery, it makes you cooking bagel bites in your sweat pants a brutal reality that can be overcome, pumping gas a look towards a railed future. In short, he takes every act of uselessness that you perform during your (shit, definitely my) menial existence, and elevates it to a plateau where it seems a tragic, yet vital component of a decaying system. There's a humanism (in the delivery, obviously, but also in the narrative arc of each original composition) that not even Springsteen can approach, because it's about the micro, and never the macro. In short, the man gives us far more credit than we goddamn deserve. And it's what makes him a genius.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NwNuQulK6N0&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NwNuQulK6N0&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Someday Never Comes"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SFP5afPweVI&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SFP5afPweVI&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Long As I Can See the Light"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yA7iGxV6rt4&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yA7iGxV6rt4&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Creedence Clearwater Revival - "Lodi"<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------<br /><br />[1]<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=tuIVnj0mIPI">Before Timberlake</a><br />[2]Google analytics [3] has actually proved that whole self-deprecating "nobody reads my shit thing" is wildly incorrect, but I think the Rodney Dangerfield schtick is my bread and butter, so going egomaniacal now would be self-destructive.<br />[3]Or, at least it will, tomorrow, after I finish my taxes, and triumphantly install it onto my blog.<br />[4]Since I'll probably never get around to writing about it, I'll simply use this footnote to recommend <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0031679/">Mr. Smith Goes to Washington</a>. I'm a sucker for Frank Capra, and I don't think there's nearly enough populist films being made today (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0140397/">Mumford</a>, of course, being a pleasant exception). That movie is the reason why I still follow politics, even though it usually makes me want to punch everyone in the face. It's also a member of the club of "Weird audio/visual material that makes me cry when I drink Malt Liquor", formed by a Van Morrison record I've probably shoved in all of your faces at taverns up and down highway 29.<br />[5]I'm not putting up mp3's, because I'd imagine everyone has this (let me know if you don't, I'll hit you up with something), but shit, this is like the most competent "Greatest Hits" disc of all time. CCR got it together, mayne.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-48069590839349998362008-01-10T07:29:00.000-08:002008-01-13T22:07:37.074-08:00Two Craptacular Ships, Passing in the Night<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.happymonster.nl/verhalen/fotoos/wonen-grote-boot.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.happymonster.nl/verhalen/fotoos/wonen-grote-boot.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />When I opened this window, I was really striving to write a thought provoking piece tying together <a href="http://cityrag.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/paris_hilton_50_cent.jpg">pop culture hyper-saturation</a>, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=HPPj6viIBmU">internet celebrity</a>, the age of the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=J2Fsfz9aL9Q">non-contextual edit</a>, and metacommentary/postmodernism (I could link to just about any article Brent DiCrescenzo ever wrote for Pitchfork, but I'll go with <a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/19856-st-anger">this</a>). The problem with this, however, is that I was merely attempting to provide intellectual window dressing before justifying spending an afternoon in my underwear drinking dopplebock, watching <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Terri">Jan Terri</a> videos. Such an afternoon would've been "another winner"[1] regardless, but it achieved true transcendence when I stumbled upon the greatest merging of equal billing quasi-celebrities ever[2]: Jan Terri's <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=dZ94vnmvPrw">"Losing You"</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tay_Zonday">Tay Zonday</a>'s 2007 ANTHEM, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA">"Chocolate Rain"</a>. <br /><br />Since learning of her via the <a href="http://www.myspace.com/foundfootagefestival">Found Footage Festival</a>, I have been more than a little smitten with Jan "Voyage to My Labial Taj Majal" Terri. While it definitely helps her cause that she penned two of the greatest holiday songs of all time (<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=JqsRFKe3YMA">"Get Down Goblin"</a> and <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=OcAVheZAxDU">"Rock and Roll Santa"</a> shit all over "White Christmas". Fuck a Bing Crosby), the ultimate draw is that, being entirely self-produced, the projects carry a humanism that extend the projects to an absurd degree of insularity. She genuinely has a more warped perception of what the public wants than almost any performer of the last two decades. The only difference between <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=WRpcwACAFsw">"Baby Blues"</a> and <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=CoT_7_nRgLY">"U Saved Me"</a> is that Jan Terri doesn't have to pay her cohorts to pretend it's not bat-shit insane. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE INVOLVED! I mean, there's anonymous actors as window dressing, but it's not like there's a marketing department, the members of whom go home after work to pound bourbon and shake their head at what their Liberal Arts degree is being used for. Jan sings, Jan films, and then Jan distributes these videos to PASSENGERS IN HER LIMO! Fucking awesome.<br /><br />Zonday, on the other hand, is at least in on the joke. I'll elect not to write a dissertation about "Chocolate Rain", since it's been done to death, often by far funnier people. I will go as far as saying, however, that even a cursory listen to <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=hkCVJjf_Mw0">his cover of "Rainbow Connection"</a> verifies that lightning has struck more than once. Spending his days as a PhD student, and his free-time sharpening his peculiar musical gifts, Zonday clearly is cut from the <a href="http://openencyclopedia.net/index.php/Saved_By_The_Bell#Ollie_Creekly">Ollie Creekly</a> cloth.<br /><br />While there are literally dozens of people omniscient enough to realize the dual genius of these two entities, one magnificent bastard actually had the vision to wind them together into a staggering double helix of profundity. Granted, the precision of the editing could be improved, but the storyboarding is top notch, and it's really hard not to produce something life-altering with such fantastic source material. I'll won't list all of my favorite parts, because part of the fun is seeing them for yourself, but I openly wept joyful tears when the Zonday line "raise your neighborhood insurance rates" accompanies the visual moment in "Losing You" when Jan Terri and her mulletted suitor run a stop sign on their carefree motorcycle ride. For my entertainment dollar, a way better ride than fucking <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQZLCNRYqMM">Alvin and the Chipmunks</a>, I do declare. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vUPFAkEyZVw&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vUPFAkEyZVw&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />-------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br />[1] I think I'm now going to sprinkle my praise of anything with <a href="http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/Hoaxipedia/David_Manning/">David Manning</a> quotes. I also consider my balls "this year's hottest new star!!"<br /><br />[2] I specify "equal billing", because it would be unfair to pit any low-level montage against the juggernaut of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=WbKquOQs3NI">pederasts</a> <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=X197KkSA6CY">making</a> <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=vLTcVOK_nOA">Alyssa Milano-centric</a> <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=yUIegFA2oF4">"Who's the Boss"</a>[3] <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=wWo2i4b9Nq4">tribute</a> <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=igGI_HZ5o8w">videos</a>.<br /><br />[3] And while we're on the subject of "Who's the Boss?", what's up with Italian language theme songs to 80's TV shows?? <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=a-z5PNltths">This one</a> is as fucked up as the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=rwahZ4zq_DM">Fresh Prince joint</a> from a couple weeks back. Bel Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir!!Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-28798978864069812382007-12-10T18:41:00.000-08:002007-12-18T12:42:10.271-08:00Top 26 albums of 2007Yeah, fuck you. I thought I had 25, which is already too fucking many, and then I realized I miscounted. I'll make sure I use an abacus for 2008. Here's the list, complete with audio links, which can be used to verify that, in fact, I probably have a bad list. Apologies to Panda Bear, LCD Soundsystem, and all other artists with amazing albums that I didn't fully digest because I was too busy trying to beat "The Lion King" on Sega Genesis [1]. <br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />26. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thefederation">The Federation</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">It's Whateva</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j018/j01864szrq8.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j018/j01864szrq8.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148158-bcc" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148158-bcc" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />The Federation - "Bang Bang" (featuring a shitload of other people)<br /><br />Between this and the <a href="http://myspace.com/turftalk">new Turf Talk</a> record, I really thought there was a chance people outside of California would figure out how dope Rick Rock is. I mean, the man produced no less than 25 absolute bangers this year, and yet, he's still stuck in the Hyphy ghetto. Now, granted, this album should've came out a year ago, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSfRSEo870g">"I Wear My Stunna Glasses at Night"</a> should've been the lead single. But, things happen, and regardless of what obstacles appear before them, the Federation continue to go harder before noon than most people do all day. A point was deducted for a Snoop Dogg cameo, but overall, still a hell of a way to spend an afternoon. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNlAW50AhuE">Yadadamean??</a><br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />25. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/stvincent">St. Vincent</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Marry Me</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i881/i88198b6u1x.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i881/i88198b6u1x.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148057-817" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148057-817" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />St. Vincent - "Jesus Saves, I Spend"<br /><br />For the first time since 1997, the best record by a female artist isn't affiliated with Destiny's Child. Bring the hate in '08 Beyonce!!<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />24. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/loscampesinos">Los Campesinos</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Sticking Fingers Into Sockets</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i848/i84889supb6.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i848/i84889supb6.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148303-0d2" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148303-0d2" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Los Campesinos! - "You! Me! Dancing!"<br /><br />This year's biggest instance of me drinking Pitchfork hype Kool-Aid is my fondness for the debut EP from the Welsh collective <a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=campesinos+site%3Apitchforkmedia.com&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a">endless Los Campesinos</a>. If I were insecure, I'd say that it was dirty pool of them to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPi25ntkRBE">cover one of the greatest Pavement songs ever</a>, but as a dashing figure that cuts a confident stroke, I'll simply say that these six songs are fun to jump on the bed to.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />23. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/candylionmusic">Gruff Rhys</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Candylion</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri400/i430/i43085thctt.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri400/i430/i43085thctt.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148708-c2c" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148708-c2c" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Gruff Rhys - "Candylion"<br /><br />While I was really anticipating the latest <a href="http://www.myspace.com/superfurry">Super Furry Animals</a> album (which delivered the dopeness, as per usual), I didn't invest too much thought into the second solo project by frontman Gruff Rhys, largely because his debut disc was sung entirely in Welsh. Now, while I <a href="http://www.myspace.com/sigurros">enjoy gibberish as much as the next guy</a>, the surrealist lyrics are a huge part of the SFA draw. Furthermore, the lazy American in me can never keep their names straight, and I always fear that I'm going to end up with an album by the guy that makes non-time signatured laptop drum-and-bass. Luckily, one hungover Saturday morning in Milwaukee, I was smitten enough with the construction paper cover art that I uncovered the second greatest moment in children's music of 2007. Gruff, if only you would've put this out in a year where <a href="http://jezebel.com/gossip/clips/cornelius-rocks-out-on-yo-gabba-gabba-327074.php">Yo Gabba Gabba</a> didn't have that title locked up.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />22. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/partsandlabor">Parts and Labor</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Mapmaker</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri300/i383/i38313utdmf.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri300/i383/i38313utdmf.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148815-f66" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148815-f66" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Parts & Labor - "Long Way Down"<br /><br />The Jagjaguwar reign of terror continues. Unlike Bon Iver and Okkervil River, however, the Parts & Labor attack relies far more on delicately manipulated, treble-y distortion, and a pummeling arsenal of percussion. Fifteen year old Anthony would've fucking loved this record.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />21. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/spoon">Spoon</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i877/i87758k0x9d.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i877/i87758k0x9d.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148703-cd0" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148703-cd0" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Spoon - "The Underdog"<br /><br />In one of the nerdy music fantasies that I write in what may or may not be a <a href="http://www.lisafrank.com/">Lisa Frank notebook</a>, Britt Daniel tells me that the first song Spoon wrote for "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga" was "The Underdog", and it happened right after <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=ofNesHt0iqU">Boise State stuck it to the Big 12 on New Years Day</a>. At no time does anyone bring up that by virtue of being from Austin, Texas, Spoon probably LIKES Big 12 football. <br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />20. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/mia">M.I.A.</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Kala</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i988/i98859v85of.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i988/i98859v85of.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148952-578" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3148952-578" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />M.I.A. - "XR2"<br /><br />Dear Fuckstick that ripped this album for me to download,<br /><br />You somehow forgot to include <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=7sei-eEjy4g">"Paper Planes"</a>. I've had one less song than everyone else for six months. Due to the staggering amount of music I heard this year, I can't always remember what songs are named, and thus, never realized that I was missing track 11 (which, incidentally, is one of the best on the album). You really, really fucked up here. Like, I just found this out five minutes ago. Dick. I even hold you responsible for the absence of the July re-examination of the Clash catalog, which surely would've occurred after hearing the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=HQwm1v1R-qM">sample</a>. You're a fucking jerk.<br /><br />Love,<br />Stunt.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />19. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/theblacklips">Black Lips</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Good Bad Not Evil</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j021/j02143rb6df.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j021/j02143rb6df.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149007-d20" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149007-d20" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Black Lips - "Bad Kids"<br /><br />There's about 500 reviews of this joint that inevitably draw a comparison to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuggets:_Original_Artyfacts_from_the_First_Psychedelic_Era,_1965-1968">Nuggets Box Set</a>. God forbid the lazy sods actually suggest specifically checking out bands like <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=f7Nffq0bOgE">The Sonics</a> or the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=hfcHgk10rbg">13th Floor Elevators</a>, or <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=gWn9s0piexc">the Count Five</a>. No, they'd rather make sweeping, obvious generalizations, and spend the time saved typing the phrase "Radiohead Pricing Model" a couple million more times. So, uh, check out the Sonics... or something.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />18. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/ugk">UGK</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Underground Kingz</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i963/i96310rb6df.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i963/i96310rb6df.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149202-07b" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149202-07b" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />UGK - "Quit Hatin' the South" (w/ <a href="http://www.xxlmag.com/online/?p=5266">Willie D</a>)<br /><br />A fitting epitaph to a legendary musician. R.I.P. Pimp C.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />17. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/holyfuck">Holy Fuck</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">LP</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d0/HolyFuckLP.jpg/200px-HolyFuckLP.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d0/HolyFuckLP.jpg/200px-HolyFuckLP.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149278-aef" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149278-aef" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Holy Fuck - "Milk Shake"<br /><br />They have two drummers. Kick yourself in the nuts if you don't have this.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />16. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/whitewilliams">White Williams</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Smoke</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj100/j151/j15194a2u80.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj100/j151/j15194a2u80.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149399-447" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149399-447" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />White Williams - "Route To Palm"<br /><br />Remember when MTV sounded like this?? I do. In spite of the hair cuts, new wave was pretty fucking awesome.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />15. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/ofmontreal">Of Montreal</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri300/i356/i35632hxdrb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri300/i356/i35632hxdrb.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149424-efd" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149424-efd" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Of Montreal - "She's a Rejector"<br /><br />Since I first heard "Blood on the Tracks", I think I've been unconsciously hoarding divorce albums so that way I've got a hefty pile for when my first wife leaves me. In the meantime, I can listen to the amazing keyboard layers on this one, and pretend it's optimistic. I suppose it's sonically logical that <a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/38757-video-of-montreal-outback-steakhouse-commercial">Outback Steakhouse</a> and <a href="http://idolator.com/tunes/it.s-only-selling-out-if-you-do-it-for-the-right-price/of-montreals-t%20mobile-ad-cell-phone-companies-now-pandering-to-the-blog-demo-324328.php?autoplay=true">T-Mobile</a> spun these into odes to consumerism. Well played, Madison Avenue. Well... Played...<br /><br />*begins slow clap* <br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />14. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/arcadefireofficial">Arcade Fire</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Neon Bible</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri400/i429/i42945szrq8.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri400/i429/i42945szrq8.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149512-646" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149512-646" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Arcade Fire - "Windowsill"<br /><br />I downloaded this right after it came out, thought that a sequencing job with "Black Mirror" batting leadoff was downright retarded, and then filed it away. THEN I SAW THIS:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Pyp34v6Lmcc&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Pyp34v6Lmcc&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />So, uh, yeah, I guess I was a little prematurely dismissive. I still stand by my problems with the tracklisting, but the last 60% of it is phenomenal, and you can't go wrong with a healthy Springsteen fetish.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />13. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/dizzeerascal">Dizzee Rascal</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Maths + English</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i857/i85799qr20u.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i857/i85799qr20u.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149577-d3e" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149577-d3e" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Dizzee Rascal - "Sirens"<br /><br />How can this not be available in America??? This shit is grimy as fuck (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grime_%28music%29">no pun intended</a>). The storytelling really leaps through the speakers, the production is devastating, and the ethnocentrist in me just likes to giggle when a guy this dangerous says "trousers".<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />12. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/dandeacon">Dan Deacon</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Spiderman of the Rings</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri500/i570/i57032jdmsg.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri500/i570/i57032jdmsg.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149549-840" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149549-840" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Dan Deacon - "Wham City"<br /><br />Song of the decade. <br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />11. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/menomena">Menomena</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Friend Or Foe</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri300/i347/i34762t4lmw.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri300/i347/i34762t4lmw.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149661-bfc" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3149661-bfc" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Menomena - "Muscle 'n Flo"<br /><br />If I told you about a band with a tricky-to-pronounce name, a penchant for adding trombone flourishes, and a loosely defined lineup where members trade instruments between songs, you would probably assume this band was really pretentious and terrible to listen to. In this case, you'd be wrong, but it's good that you have those instincts. I listen to a lot of weird fucking bullshit. One can't be too careful these days.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />10. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/okkervilriver">Okkervil River</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">The Stage Names</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i960/i96005w60jy.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i960/i96005w60jy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3150174-92d" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3150174-92d" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Okkervil River - "Unless It's Kicks"<br /><br />Will Sheff is probably the best lyricist in modern rock. Which makes it all the more embarrassing that I can't get over how much I love the tambourine. Furthermore, these guys could teach Arcade Fire a thing or two about how to sequence an album. Every song is great except for one, and even that lands in the perfect place to put the dud. Another one of Jagjaguwar's flagship artists to release something staggering in 2007. Look for <a href="http://www.myspace.com/boniver">Bon Iver</a> to keep the streak alive in February.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />9. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/etjusticepourtous">Justice</a> - †<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i865/i86558lfm5j.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri800/i865/i86558lfm5j.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139799-84b" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139799-84b" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Justice - "DVNO"<br /><br />Listen up Frenchy, I'm <a href="http://wcca.wicourts.gov/caseDetails.do;jsessionid=D0796C994925F4AEC9A99F7CB7DBE7B1.render5?caseNo=2002CV000853&countyNo=44&cacheId=94A67A76D96969E93713F6CD50B8C8AC&recordCount=81&offset=47">already a shitty enough driver as it is</a>. Please refrain from making shit like this, compelling me to play drums on the wheel, pump the gas pedal along with the bass parts, and falsetto sing at the top of my lungs like an Ian Van Dahl collaborator. <br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />8. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/lilwayne">Lil Wayne</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">The Drought 3</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/19/Da_Drought_3_cover.jpg/200px-Da_Drought_3_cover.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/19/Da_Drought_3_cover.jpg/200px-Da_Drought_3_cover.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139683-710" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139683-710" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Lil Wayne - "Ride 4 My Niggas"<br /><br />James Brown 2k7. Weezy F. Baby is the hardest working man in show business, and if he wants to spend his leisure time sippin' <a href="http://www.wackyvoices.com/images/butterworth.jpg">syrup</a>, then I think it's his prerogative. As long as he keeps beasting over the best production bad rappers can buy, I don't care if Birdman uses his tongue as a bidet. And for the record, when I was five, my favorite movie was the Gremlins as well.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />7. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/radiohead">Radiohead</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">In Rainbows</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj100/j170/j17016hlibb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj100/j170/j17016hlibb.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139683-710" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139683-710" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Radiohead - "Reckoner"<br /><br />This could've sounded like Foghat, and it still would've been revolutionary, for unifying the best five ideas about digital music commerce, and presenting them to the unwashed masses. Lucky for us, they put as much work into the music as they did into the packaging (or lack thereof). Plus, that 45 second wait before the guitar kicks in on track one proves that underneath all the misanthropy and isolation, they've still got a sense of humor.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />6. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thenational">The National</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Boxer</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0a/TheNational-Boxer.jpg/200px-TheNational-Boxer.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0a/TheNational-Boxer.jpg/200px-TheNational-Boxer.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139546-319" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139546-319" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />The National - "Fake Empire"<br /><br />Between this and <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA">Tay Zonday</a>, baritone vocals were back in a big way in 2007. Also, probably the best drum sound I've heard on an album in five years. Did they rent the castle <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z_Ny9_CrUVY">"When the Levee Breaks"</a> was recording in or something??<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />5. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/battlestheband">Battles</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Mirrored </span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri700/i769/i76924xh6xm.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri700/i769/i76924xh6xm.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139311-b6b" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139311-b6b" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Battles - "Tonto"<br /><br />The exception that proves the rule. Four virtuosos beating the piss out of their instruments, and the result is something amazing. These guys get gold stars for making a dense, challenging tapestry, when lesser folks would've ended up sounding like <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=rX0vOYwHj30">Emerson, Lake, and Palmer</a> (Yuck!). <br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />4. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/animalcollectivetheband">Animal Collective</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Strawberry Jam</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j027/j02716bysvf.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j027/j02716bysvf.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139505-984" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139505-984" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Animal Collective - "Unsolved Mysteries"<br /><br />For a nice change of pace, the Collective decided to actually record a whole album of songs, instead of one or two surrounded by a bunch of off-key experimentation. It paid off, and made me contemplate buying stock in the Salvia industry. Viva la psychedelics!!<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />3. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/elproducto">El-P</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">I'll Sleep When You're Dead</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri400/i456/i45683e1tkg.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri400/i456/i45683e1tkg.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139490-3f2" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139490-3f2" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />El-P - "The Overly Dramatic Truth"<br /><br />El Producto does it again. Dude really lets his Phillip K. Dick flag fly on this shit. Also notable for a Trent Reznor appearance that doesn't suck. Shame he needed somebody else to drag it out of him, but it was comforting all the same.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />2. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thesongsofjens">Jens Lekman</a> <span style="font-style:italic;">Night Falls Over Kortadela</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j081/j08176qz9oa.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drj000/j081/j08176qz9oa.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139407-ce8" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139407-ce8" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Jens Lekman - "A Postcard to Nina"<br /><br />I spent the better part of three months trying to figure out whether I liked this damn thing or not. It's like a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burt_Bacharach">Burt Bacharach</a> album, but the narratives are all cracked in this really surreal, awkwardly honest manner. The production is unbelievably warm considering the digital nature of it's construction. It definitely grows on you, even if wins the Morrissey, "I Roll my Car Windows Up when I'm Listening to this in Dense Traffic" award.<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />1. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/cariboumanitoba">Caribou</a> - <span style="font-style:italic;">Andorra</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i983/i98396fzop0.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dri900/i983/i98396fzop0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139193-0b9" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=3139193-0b9" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br />Caribou - "Sandy"<br /><br />In a year where the beating hearts behind electronic records experienced a staggeringly increased profile, it seems fitting that the album of the year would be made by an IDM veteran getting his <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ci18DihDRH4">Hawkwind</a> on. Deftly merging the strengths of <a href="http://www.myspace.com/abeautifulplace">Boards of Canada</a> and <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=ctYBhk1gzUQ">the Soft Boys</a>, "Andorra" is a singular achievement that reaches beyond the limitations of either aspect of it's source material. Flawless.<br /><br />---------------------------<br /><br />[1] EDIT- 2:41 PM, December 18th, 2007<br /><br />I would just like the record to reflect that this post (footnote excluded) was worked on over the course of the week, and finalized 10:30ish on the 17th of December. Had I known that Pitchfork was going to name those two albums as their top two of the year, I would've chosen others for my snarky excuse to pound Sega Genesis into the conversation. The last thing I would ever do, as a self-respecting egomaniac, would be draw attention to another list, and use a cavalier comment to suggest that THEY, in fact, have a better list than me. That, like, breaks all the hipster rules, and stuff.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-51264188384737763932007-12-03T18:59:00.000-08:002007-12-03T19:26:12.348-08:00Kindred Spirits<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mtv.com/shared/promoimages/bands/w/weiland_scott/dui_120307/281x211.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.mtv.com/shared/promoimages/bands/w/weiland_scott/dui_120307/281x211.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />According to a handful of online shallow media outlets, no-talent junkie Scott Weiland got another DUI. While I normally wouldn't give a shit about him one way or the other, largely since both his new and old bands suck, I was pleasantly surprised to see that he actually has a pretty sleazy beard.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Tallying this alongside Michael Jackson's (post-kiddie diddling) foray into bearded bliss, this officially makes two famous musicians that I run train on in the face carpet department.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://mj.barczyk.se/blog/wp-content/michaeljackson_beard.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://mj.barczyk.se/blog/wp-content/michaeljackson_beard.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Eric Cartman, you are officially in my sights. Consider yourself warned.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://radprofile.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/img_36.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://radprofile.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/img_36.gif" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />-----------------------<br /><br /><br />In other news, this song rules, but I probably wasn't going to get around to writing about it. Thus, it makes a perfect addition to this "not really a blog entry" blog entry. It's good enough that you will totally[1] end up praying for another celebrity venture into bad bearding[2], simply to incite me into writing again.<br /><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=2991871-6f2" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=2991871-6f2" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Want_to_See_the_Bright_Lights_Tonight">Richard and Linda Thompson</a> - "I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />-------------------------<br /><br /><br />[1] Or is it <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=totes">totes</a>? Are blogs supposed to say totes exclusively now?? Nobody tells me anything<br />[2] I feel like there's an episode of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sliders">"Sliders"</a> where an 8-bit video game called "Bad Beardin'" sweeps the nation. Acclaim is probably involved.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-30698039322347035452007-11-25T17:31:00.000-08:002007-11-25T21:18:27.694-08:00Motherfucker couldn't be Muslim...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/13/55/23045513.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/13/55/23045513.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />...because the wife makes him eat pork<br /><br />----------------------------------<br /><br />Since popular music's success rate typically sits beneath even Eli Manning's completion percentage, I've spent the better part of my life scouring ultra-nerdy periodicals in search of the next great musical plateau. 14 year old Anthony broke the seal discovering <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavement_%28band%29">Pavement</a> via a Rolling Stone record guide , but there's been hundreds of musically promiscuous endeavors since that have hinged on poring over the hyperbolic musings of some other nerd on the other end of the world. A particularly strong phase was my Freshman year of college, when my homepage was the <a href="http://www.nme.com/">NME</a>. In hindsight, 2001 (especially to those Limey fucks) will always be thought of as the year of the "The" bands. The Strokes, The Hives, The White Stripes, and a myriad of also-rans[1] that decided rock music should be frozen in an era where you could trace the veins on your cock through your leather pants. At the time, though, their coverage was equally devoted to another obsession: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2-step_garage">UK Garage</a>.<br /><br />After innumerable evenings spent waging war with my cruel mistress <a href="http://www.icehouse.com/">Icehouse</a>, I'd fire up <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audiogalaxy">Audiogalaxy</a>[2] and gorge my hard drive with every skittishly-drum programmed ode to gun violence I could get my hand on. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=tntRTRkp2GY">Dizzee Rascal</a> and <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=H5E5s_WKta4">Ms. Dynamite</a> were in constant rotation (fuck it, I'll link <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=T87IFnanRPA">a second single </a> to that Ms. Dynamite album. She had tracks for days), and I'm pretty confident that I could name at least five members of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=TRCBy8hrOIM">So Solid Crew</a>. Then, inevitably, came "The Elvis Moment": <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Original_Pirate_Material">Original Pirate Material</a>. Mike Skinner, under the guise of "The Streets", released one of the best albums of 2002, a concept album about being young and intoxicated in Britain. It had the signature slang and rhythms of Garage, but there was an element of the class consciousness and humor prevalent in prior waves of British Youth music (The Specials, The Kinks, Blur). Needless to say, it blew the fuck up there, and sold enough records here to be namedropped by <a href="http://www.superfurryanthony.blogspot.com">pretentious quasi-intellectuals that obsessively follow that sort of thing</a>.<br /><br />-------------------------<br /><br />Six years later, and Garage is more or less a historical footnote. So Solid Crew disintegrated, the second Ms. Dynamite album blew, and with the exception of Dizzee Rascal and Wiley, most of the core artists fizzled out (the last Kano record was fucking abysmal). Skinner, however, transcended the genre, dropping two more stellar records, and fleshing out his sound beyond the scene that birthed him. Thus, when news leaked of a new Streets single in advance of album four, my curiosity was piqued. Since post-production and mastering was slated to take the project up until early '08, it made sense for the man to keep product in the pipeline by putting out a one-off single. What didn't make sense was making that single a cover of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=mTa8U0Wa0q8">"Your Song"</a>, by Elton John.<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=2889594-710" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=2889594-710" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />The Streets - "Your Song"<br /><br /><br />Part of the pretty disasterous Radio One Covers record (<a href="http://flymusic.co.uk/flymusic/%20klaxons-no-diggity/">Klaxons covering "No Diggity", anyone???</a>), I'd really like to dismiss this, particularly since Elton John sort of blows. However, I find myself strangely compelled to it. There's definitely a melodramatic element to it that a moody fuck like me would be drawn to, but that seemed too basic to be the draw. And while the ballads he had written in the past also tended to linger in one's head (<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c">"Dry Your Eyes"</a> and <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=ygzSXn3oxKU">"Never Went to Church"</a> come to mind), those focused more on the poetic and narrative elements than his wavering, trebly voice. Then it fucking hit me.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/thEiXbovv98&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/thEiXbovv98&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />THE SHIT SOUNDS LIKE "RAINBOW CONNECTION"!!!!!!!<br /><br />I played the fuck out of the Muppet Movie when I was a kid. The whole "I sing not because I'm skilled at it, but because my soul demands it of me" shit that Kermit has done for the better part of 40 years. Fozzie Bear, ever the sad clown. And <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=14njUwJUg1I">Statler and Waldorf</a> clearly bear some sort of profound emotional damage. Those Muppets are profound, complicated souls and I identify with this. Man, I goddamn love the fucking Muppets. A fuckload of classic Muppetry after the jump.<br /><br />------------------------------------<br /><br />Bonus Beats<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/E4TRvYAyt3k&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/E4TRvYAyt3k&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Johnny Cash and Miss Piggy - "Jackson"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-jbya4kxC6E&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-jbya4kxC6E&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Kermit the Frog - "Once in a Lifetime" (Talking Heads cover)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9bOOioNEe9k&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9bOOioNEe9k&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Muppets - "Why Can't We Be Friends" (War cover/TRIBUTE TO THE FRENCH REVOLUTION!!)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4R2M-s2HEC8&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4R2M-s2HEC8&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Johnny Cash (featuring the Muppets) - "Ghostriders in the Sky"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4n1y3U4FarU&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4n1y3U4FarU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Muppets - "In the Navy" (Village People cover)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nr7v5lLQhHQ&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nr7v5lLQhHQ&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Floyd (from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem) - "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" (Beatles cover)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-tV0Ajoq4iw&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-tV0Ajoq4iw&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Gonzo - "Act Naturally" (Beatles cover/Buck Owens cover)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aKcY_DNF8aY&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aKcY_DNF8aY&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem - "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" (Paul Simon cover)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zkHM8xG6i8o&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zkHM8xG6i8o&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />R.E.M. (featuring the Muppets) - "Furry Happy Monsters"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uhbxN4NO38k&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uhbxN4NO38k&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Animal and Buddy Rich having a Drum Competition<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/J8Gw5e1AnMc&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/J8Gw5e1AnMc&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Gonzo (featuring the Chickens)- "Workin at the Car Wash Blues" (Jim Croce cover)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/pIvCJC8oAIE&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/pIvCJC8oAIE&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Dizzy Gillespie and the Muppets - St. Louis Blues<br /><br />--------------------------------------------<br /><br />[1]<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=kDcfaGUR-Fs">The Datsuns</a> anyone?<br />[2]Audiogalaxy went hard as fuck. Using Limewire was like wearing a tech vest to a house party. Why don't you just carve the word "toolbox" into your forehead.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-40176772394267297522007-11-14T20:09:00.000-08:002007-11-14T21:04:47.574-08:00...we tend to do that<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/N4OZOCijeP4&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/N4OZOCijeP4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>[1]<br /><br />Once every so often, the constant hyperbole I spew ends up actually being vindicated by an event so phenomenal that my peers forget about the rather shoddy reliability of my opinion. Not that my taste is bad, in fact, quite the contrary. However, I tend to get excited about things so far onto the fringes of acceptable society, that when people finally take the plunge, there's sort of a vacuum of enthusiasm leaving the room, along with my wavering credibility (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjrow3gzFMA">Dan Deacon, anyone?</a>). Sunday, however, was one such day where the heavens smiled upon those daring enough to listen, and they heard the voice of God, projected through pennywhistles and ten dollar organs.<br /><br />Man Man rocked everyone in a manner I didn't think could happen to me at this jaded point in my existence. I would say it was the greatest thing I've ever seen. Better than when Mudhoney played for 75 people in Green Bay, better than that time I was walking with Sarah and saw that guy fall out of a tree, better than when I saw "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" the day it came out in theatres at Andy Reiff's first grade birthday party. Furthermore, it was a uniter, not a divider. Modest Mouse (the headliner) brought a pretty diverse crowd (in the good, and bad ways), and to thoroughly astound that many people is a feat for the ages. Their supreme dominance is pretty much summed up by the following exchange with Ted, immediately following the set, right outside of the bathroom.<br /><br />"Dude, that was the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen. I think you blew my mind."<br />"yeah... we tend to do that."<br /><br />The craziest thing is, the entirety of their skillset seems to be the aforementioned mindblowing. Their MySpace is a series of pencil drawings and random clip art, their website is a mere list of tourdates, and their Wikipedia entry is rather useless. Aside of forced exposure from a quasi-hipster douchebag like myself, I can't even imagine a scenario where someone would run into this. In a way, it's almost better that way. There's an old Iggy Pop interview where he discusses how he's trying to make himself obsolete. Like, if people take his lead, and put enough emotion and expressiveness into their own art, then he could stop slicing himself open, and rubbing peanut butter on his naked ass, and become a fucking plumber. But they won't, so he can't. It's like, rather than preach to the converted, Man Man just go out and wreck house, trying to bash skulls towards epiphany, night after night. It's rather staggering. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />[1] Apparently, there's <a href="http://mukgufied.wordpress.com/2006/09/10/ya-shim-man-man/">this acid headed Korean show</a>with a paragraph long title, two words of which are "Man Man", and it's posted all over YouTube. It's sort of like <a href="http://www.nick.com/all_nick/gas/watch/show_info/shows_figureout.jhtml">"Figure It Out"</a>, but instead of waiting for Lori Beth Denberg to have a mixed ethnicity child with the cokehead from Nick Arcade, you see Korean celebrities make sexual innuendo laden comments back and forth under the pretense of ripping off Family Feud. I chose this particular clip, not only because it's about man boobs, but also because you can faintly hear <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L1hD5OlPtw">"Little Green Bag"</a> by George Baker in the background, and that song is fucking amazing.<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Below, an assortment for fans new and old. First up, a cover of the old folk song "Little Boxes", performed by Man Man, and aired this season on "Weeds" (which is bomb, obviously). Pretty much the entire lineup of performers from seasons two and three were amazing (Decemberists and Devendra Banhart fucking nailed it), but it's doubly pleasing to hear the old lyrics damning suburbia coming from a band that would probably scare the shit out of your parents. Donovan? Not so much. After that, is a cover of an old Etta James song that the Faces used to play all the time. Finally, a live rendition of their single from the last album. It's not exactly representative of what's happening at their shows right now (which is being used as an opportunity to show off new material), but it's still dope nonetheless.<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divaudio2"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2756638-bae" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2756638-bae" width="335" height="28" name="divaudio2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />Man Man - Little Boxes (Weeds Theme/Malvina Reynolds Cover)<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divaudio2"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2756711-a89" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2756711-a89" width="335" height="28" name="divaudio2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />Man Man - I Would Rather Go Blind (Etta James Cover)<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4W34rZGruo4&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4W34rZGruo4&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Man Man - Van Helsing Jukebox (live)Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-59818522654999188672007-11-13T18:04:00.000-08:002008-10-14T13:33:49.154-07:00Hut One, Hut Two, Hut Three, HUT!!!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.brooklynrecord.com/archives/060711odb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.brooklynrecord.com/archives/060711odb.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I've got about three partial posts going (one of which is devoted to the staggeringly dope weekend/religious experience from Madison and Milwaukee), but I would be remiss if I were to let the 13th of November pass without a brief post about Russell Jones, better known as the Ol' Dirty Bastard.<br /><br />As a late arrival to hip-hop, most of my musical memories from childhood involve either long-haired vulgarity (Guns N Roses, Metallica), designed to complement the ever-widening holes in my elementary school jeans; or bong-water soaked cassette tapes I stole from my dad and later played until I'd memorized each and every nuance.<br /><br />Black music came to me eventually (the floodgates obviously exploded, as anyone unfortunate enough to witness a drunken tirade of mine about <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILzfoJkQ3yQ">"The Payback"</a> can tell you), but early exposure came more insidiously. I remember seeing <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grSrmb70W1Q">Ghostface brushing roaches out the cereal box</a><a href="#1">[1]</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOA7ixr0aBk">learning from Left Eye what a rubber looked like</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnRS-3AyGUs">and finding out that the raw shit is always on public access</a><a href="#1">[2]</a>. Most importantly, though, I remember every O.D.B. publicity stunt.<br /><br />I had seen "Da Mystery of Chessboxin" on public access before, but Wu-Tang hype was hard as fuck to figure out as an 11-year old white kid. I knew there was definitely some shit going on, but without any prior exploration in that direction, it would take another 7 years before I could really (w)rap my head around East-Coast hip hop. What I could figure out instantly, though, was O.D.B.'s insatiable thirst for attention. I didn't know shit about how welfare worked, or why most white people bitched about it all the time, but I knew damn well that Dirty cashing a welfare check in a limo was funny as fuck, as proven by the relative worthlessness of people angered by the stunt. It was like, everything that dude did was put into such a perfect set of surroundings that you got to observe how a cornucopia of people responded, and then pick your allegiances accordingly. I didn't know if Wu-Tang deserved "Best Rap Artist" at the Grammy's,<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2-5GSjZvW8">but I knew that if anyone was boring enough to deserve their acceptance speech crashed, it was Shawn Colvin</a>. Furthermore, when I finally appreciated rap enough to delve into his catalog, you could tell that he left everything he had out there, with verses as reckless as he was. Motherfucker was like the black Iggy Pop.<br /><br />I had about a year and a half of being a full-fledged Wu-Tang Stan under my belt before dude passed away (on my sister's 20th birthday, actually, which turned the party into a bizarre wake/celebration that unsettled more than a few). I thought about the great records he had made, and the energy he brought to the clan, and what a shame that he couldn't pull it around after he got out of jail. The main thing I thought of, though, was that I would have been just as impacted ten years prior, when I was sitting on the couch, seeing Dirty wild the fuck out in public. Musicians die all the time, often from circumstances that don't affect your average member of the private sector. While we miss the art, and empathize with the families, none of us really think "boy, it's a shame I never got a chance to be flipped off by Kurt Cobain", at least beyond some sort of People Magazine impulse. Dirty didn't have that, though. He was like that friend everyone has, that your mom hates. She's always thought he was the reason you smoked dope, or blew off your homework, or talked back in high school; and often she was right. But he was also the guy that was part of all your favorite stories, or would offer you the last beer in his fridge. Use today not just to remember Dirty; his records, his stories. Use it to contemplate just how willing you are to act like the man every now and again. It's a sad fate to slide through life looking like Shawn Colvin.<br /><br /><br /><a name="1">[1]</a>The first musical moment ever to make me cry<br /><a name="1">[2]</a>Shouts to "Video Mix"<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------<br />Ol' Dirty Bastard - Shimmy Shimmy Ya<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UMY4fcZq8bk&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UMY4fcZq8bk&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Wu Tang Clan - Da Mystery of Chessboxin'<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kl6jwab3HWk&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kl6jwab3HWk&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-27319418321919141242007-10-29T18:57:00.000-07:002007-10-29T19:41:21.027-07:00Not the first time the football team ran train on her...<object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZvqIcURaXTw"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZvqIcURaXTw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />-----------------------------------------<br /><br />Around 1:15 a.m. on Sunday, I suffered a similar degree of spine-crushing humiliation when, in the midst of a self-aggrandizing tirade about my superlative jukebox picks, the speakers began to blare <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0UOZ9NHDsY">"Danger Zone"</a>, the Kenny Loggins sonic abortion from the "Top Gun" soundtrack. Apparently, the random mix CD containing my third to last pick had been replaced, but the corresponding card had not. Now, if I weren't a douchebag, it would amount to a mild degree of frustration, but since I spent the entirety of every other pick (14 songs!!) verbally fellating myself, making sure every fucktard on a bar stool knew who was responsible for the night's soundtrack, it was a special kind of humiliation when Kenny Loggins began to do what Kenny Loggins does (i.e., suck dick). It was like if Shawn Michaels walked out to the ring, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_jMGA59VQ0">this music started playing</a>. I'm just going to assume that had <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ULZuCK_fgo">this</a> played in it's rightful spot, I would've been involved in an orgy of some sort. Fucking Kenny Loggins.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-29350210438313217282007-10-19T09:23:00.000-07:002007-10-25T20:05:42.058-07:00Daniel the Irish Elevator Inspector<a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/paddy.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/paddy.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />No matter where I end up on my travels, one of the things I'll miss most about the Midwest is meeting people who could be the subject of a Tom Waits song. I was laying on the couch at work, reading Howard Zinn, when interruped by a knock at the front door. I unlocked it and spoke to the man, who informed me he was here for the annual elevator inspection. Apparently, I have the intellect of an inbred farm hand, because I didn't even know elevator inspector was an occupation.<br /><br />Mrs. Bucci, third grade teacher/figurehead of Career Day, consider your mail bomb en route.<br /><br />Anyhoo, pleasantries, formalities, banter, and souffle recipes were exchanged, and the inspector, Daniel, began to perform his duties, while intermittently engaging in a sort of self-depracating informative monologue. Apparently, he was once an elevator repairman, and after a long, storied career, he hung up his hat (helmet? mask? I still don't know shit about elevators), and retired... at least, retired for a spell; until his wife's retirement rolled around, and he realized that spending all day together would surely lead to a manslaughter charge. My Grandfather did the same thing, but instead of becoming an elevator inspector, he bought a full set of encyclopedias from a door-to-door sales man, locked himself in his study, and read each volume for 8 hours a day until he was a pretentious know-it-all like his grandson (though in his case, it was at least certified by the good people at Britannica).<br /><br /><br /><br />After trying out a few of his time-tested one-liners on me ("I always say my retirement was like a pregnancy... IT ONLY LASTED NINE MONTHS" *guffaw, chortle, snort, hiccup*) he explained his elevator findings to me, the surrogate authority figure. Apparently, the shelving that was installed into the ancient manual elevator wasn't up to code. However, "Jerry let you pass last year, so apparently it didn't bother him too much. I don't want to be that guy, and I'm sure you don't want me to be that guy, so just sign here."<br /><br />[shakespeare]Ah, sweet apathy, oft has your charmed glance given thy erections of sloth, and smirks of whimsy.[/shakespeare]<br /><br />Once my signature was procured, I attempted to volley with my only piece of elevator-centric banter ("doesn't the Zuelke Building downtown still have manual elevators... WITH OPERATORS!") only to be rebuffed ("ah, a common misconception. actually, they installed electrical motors two years ago, but left the original plating, so as to retain the vintage appearance. Inspected them last week, as a matter of fact.") Suffice to say, my game was weak.<br /><br />I thanked him for letting us slide on the shelving (presumably a common occurrance, his only alternative to militant, rule-abiding fascism), and waved as he walked to his Chrysler Concord, envisioning a elevator inspectors meeting in some Ramada banquet room, where he and Jerry laugh over bourbon, thinking about the sleepy-eyed post-grad that tried in vain to talk elevators. And beating their wives.<br /><br />-------------------------------------------<br /><br />In honor of our Irish friend, here's some jams by the Pogues.<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divaudio2"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2470452-a0e" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2470452-a0e" width="335" height="28" name="divaudio2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />The Pogues - Body of an American<br /><br />A Pogues B-Side from the golden era ("Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash", ya heard?), now notable for being the song from the Wire they play every time they have an Irish Funeral for a cop (i.e., get falling down hammered after dude gets capped)<br /><br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mUeeZK_FDsw"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mUeeZK_FDsw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />The Pogues - Sally Maclennane<br /><br />If you don't like this song, your St. Patrick's Day Privileges are revoked. Oh, and thanks to a Catholic holy day on Monday the 17th of March, the Church has invoked their authority to move St. Patrick's day for the first time since 1940, to the far more alcohol coma-friendly Saturday March 15th. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick's_Day">Get Familiar, Seamus</a><br /><br />EDIT: Apparently, only the actual holy St. Patrick's Day changes, the secular calendar always celebrates on the 17th. It's a shame Brent pointed this out, because it really takes the sting out of "Get Familiar, Seamus". Alas, I'll have to look for a future post in which I can cram a traditional Irish name for no reason. <br />*tear drops down cheek*<br /><br /><br /><br />-------------------------------------------<br /><br />Bonus Beat: Bruce Springsteen, Live in '85, Performing a Phenomenal Version of "The River". Only tangentially related (nobody speaks to the common man like "The Boss"), but as appropriate a place to stick this as any. Plus, sadly, many of you have yet to be converted. Peep Game.<br /><br /><br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/t6R77eGx8xM"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><br /><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/t6R77eGx8xM" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick's_Day"></a>Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-21369919807735779432007-10-11T09:22:00.000-07:002007-10-11T10:09:00.142-07:00Not Red Dot, Feather!<a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/WahooMcDaniel.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/WahooMcDaniel.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />As many of you know, my stop-gap occupation at the moment consists of supervising the handicapped through various odd jobs. Due to the nature of the company that owns me (No Chicken George), there's a handful of other ventures operating under the same umbrella that occasionally need to borrow labor from one of the other ventures, in order to reach their objectives. None of the above explanation is terribly interesting, but it's also helpful to aid one in understanding just how I spent Monday's work day playing cribbage and eating pizza at "The Center". "The Center" is kind of like <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/ed_alonzo.jpg">"The Max"</a>, from Saved by the Bell, except for Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowski have been replaced by about two dozen mentally ill people from Appleton, Wisconsin. So I'm stumbling through my first day as social director for the deranged, getting acclimated to my surroundings, and I strike up a conversation with one of the members, a 6'4" Indian guy I'll call "Godfrey". Motherfucker was straight out of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", wearing a <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=canadian+tuxedo">Canadian Tuxedo</a> that really set off his aviator sunglasses and his neck brace, presumably making me, the mouthy honky, Jack Nicholson. Seeming relatively funny, and not particularly dangerous, I gravitate to the man, and accept graciously when he challenges me to a game of cribbage. Hours pass, laughs are had, chips are eaten, iced tea is drank. As the day ends, one of the other members asks why he wasn't on the bus today.<br /><br />Godfrey: "I ran out of passes."<br />Random: "Oh, did you forget to call in for new ones two days in advance?"<br />Godfrey: "Nope, called in on Thursday."<br />Random: "Then why weren't you on the bus?"<br />Godfrey: "No mail delivery today. Columbus Day. (Takes long drink of coffee). I just keep getting fucked by that guy. (Walks out door)."<br /><br />-------------------------------------------------<br /><br />That anecdote was brought to you by the Cleveland Indians, your future American League Champions.<br /><br />To justify you all reading my long awaited return blog post, here's a comedy bit from Doug Benson, a man far more hilarious than I.<br /><br /><object id="divaudio2" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=" height="28" width="335" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000"><param name="_cx" value="8864"><param name="_cy" value="741"><param name="FlashVars" value=""><param name="Movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2305074-eaf"><param name="Src" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2305074-eaf"><param name="WMode" value="Window"><param name="Play" value="-1"><param name="Loop" value="-1"><param name="Quality" value="High"><param name="SAlign" value=""><param name="Menu" value="-1"><param name="Base" value=""><param name="AllowScriptAccess" value=""><param name="Scale" value="ShowAll"><param name="DeviceFont" value="0"><param name="EmbedMovie" value="0"><param name="BGColor" value=""><param name="SWRemote" value=""><param name="MovieData" value=""><param name="SeamlessTabbing" value="1"><param name="Profile" value="0"><param name="ProfileAddress" value=""><param name="ProfilePort" value="0"><param name="AllowNetworking" value="all"><param name="AllowFullScreen" value="false"><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=2305074-eaf" width="335" height="28" name="divaudio2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object>Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-50707303419777183532007-06-28T17:45:00.000-07:002007-06-28T18:44:36.327-07:00Perfect Imperfections not Penned by Cee-Lo Green<a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/n5220759_30027011_3622.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v705/StuntKockSteeev/n5220759_30027011_3622.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />*This post isn't funny, and it's been too long since my last one, so this picture hopefully reaches my joke quota*<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divaudio2"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=953184-0d1" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=953184-0d1" width="335" height="28" name="divaudio2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Modern_Lovers">The Modern Lovers</a> - "I'm Straight"<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divaudio2"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=1110387-349" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/audio?myId=1110387-349" width="335" height="28" name="divaudio2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />The Modern Lovers - "Hospital"<br /><br />Sadly, writing snide away messages will never be considered poetry. Since this closes off one opening of me becoming a bard, the only option I have left is the Leonard Cohen route, ever-sharpening words and phrases you come up with from your lofty tower, refining them until you eventually have a finished work, as notable for it's perfection as it is for being completed LONG after the intial inspiration has dissipated.<br /><br />While the away messags are more than enough to give my ego a half-stock, there are moments that I wish I could be the Lou Reed-style benzedrine poet. Wide eyed and literal, notable for the feeling that jumps off the page, rather than the clever turns of phrase and diabolical vocabulary.<br /><br />Now, beating a dead horse has long been a favorite pastime of mine. However, elaborately describing Lou Reed to the ten people that read this (and uncoincidentally, the only ten people I know that even know who Lou Reed is) would be self-defeating even for myself. Today, I turn a magnifying glass on a writer of similar style and quality, but lesser renown.<br /><br />Jonathan Richman formed the Modern Lovers in 1973, recorded an album for John Cale, and then broke them up shortly thereafter. In 1976, when the flood of punk rock records also brought a few more artistically-leaning projects (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Hell">Richard Hell</a> and his ilk), Richman decided to cast his three-year old record into the mix.<br /><br />Without making this post much longer, I guess what I'll say is amazing about Jonathan Richman product (this album in particular), is the space. I've always preferred British guitar players to American ones, due to their ability to pull back, and not inundate the listener with noise, simply as a means of showing technical proficiency. A Richman composition takes that framework, and then applies it to the narrative as well. The actual time-elapsement of a song is rarely any more than a particular moment, but there are glimpses into facts or tones that provide context. Chronologized and Kaleidoscopic are two words too pretensious to be linked by a hyphen, even by myself. However, they work in tandem better, and more inventively, when employed by Jonathan Richman than they do isolated in the hands of a lesser songwriter.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-88254157496542077122007-06-05T18:58:00.000-07:002007-06-05T19:22:08.714-07:00Last time I was this late, I had a back alley abortion<object width="448" height="374"><param name="movie" value="http://videos.onsmash.com/e/P7Gq8Vei3QX3nEtw"></param><embed src="http://videos.onsmash.com/e/P7Gq8Vei3QX3nEtw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="374"></embed></object><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/06/05/850224/Willie_Hutch_-_I_Choose_You.mp3&myTitle=Willie_Hutch_-_I_C...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/850224-1fe"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/06/05/850224/Willie_Hutch_-_I_Choose_You.mp3&myTitle=Willie_Hutch_-_I_C...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/850224-1fe" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />I was gonna get all slick and write about the newly finished 'Kast/UGK video, until I realized that <a href="http://www.cocaineblunts.com">Noz</a> did it far better than I could. Just as well, I wasn't really in the mood to defend my poorly conceived "Adventures in Hollyhood" joke. However, I was halfway through uploading the Willie Hutch song that rocks the sample, so enjoy it as pennance for me being late to the game. I'll be back tomorrow with something that hasn't been done to death by the collective internet nerdosphere. Until then, stay practicin that dance that David Banner does during his cameo, sitting shotgun in Bun B's ride.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-80766972475185707372007-05-29T17:17:00.000-07:002007-05-29T18:15:30.658-07:00Mountain Goat-astic!!<a href="http://www.maxwaugh.com/images/500mm01/goat.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.maxwaugh.com/images/500mm01/goat.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/files/2007/05/29/775929/07_No_Children.mp3&myTitle=07_No_Children.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/775929-6e7"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/files/2007/05/29/775929/07_No_Children.mp3&myTitle=07_No_Children.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/775929-6e7" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mountain_Goats">The Mountain Goats</a> - "No Children"<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/29/776052/08_Lion_s_Teeth.mp3&myTitle=08_Lion_s_Teeth.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/776052-9fe"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/29/776052/08_Lion_s_Teeth.mp3&myTitle=08_Lion_s_Teeth.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/776052-9fe" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />The Mountain Goats - Lion's Teeth<br /><br />About three years ago, I was at a party having this really profound conversaion with this Jewish girl about music, largely centered around her having phenomenal taste, and me wanting to wear her reproductive organs as a ski mask. About thirty seconds before Bystol decided to cockblock me BY DENYING THE HOLOCAUST, she mentioned the Mountain Goats, and how I should check them out. I made a mental note of this that eventually drifted into the <a href="http://www.leopold.iastate.edu/pubs/staff/pasture/pasture.jpg">crowded pasture where my other dormant ideas go to wander</a>, and forgot until I read about <a href="http://www.myspace.com/aesoprockwins">Aesop Rock's</a> <a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/news/39942-john-darnielle-el-p-guest-on-aesop-rock-lp">upcoming Mountain Goats collaboration</a>. This then lofted the idea into the stratosphere of things I need to actually follow up on (past due notices, poopy pants, burning toast, et cetera). Finally, I was able to digest it all, and it lived up to all of the swastika-cular hype that Bystol drove it to so many moons ago.<br /><br />If a comparison was absolutely necessary, I'd say there's a little <a href="http://www.myspace.com/elliottsmithnewmoon">Elliot Smith</a>, some <a href="http://superfurryanthony.blogspot.com/2007/05/engine-engine-no-9.html">Jeff Mangum</a>, and more than a passing similarity to <br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/sebadohband">every basement cassette recording Lou Barlow ever made</a>. These are all good things, however, as are the hyper literate lyrics, the recent trend towards stringed accompaniment, and the fact that none of the songs mean anything. Except the album where they mean everything. And finally, he has <a href="http://lastplanetojakarta.com/index.php">an amazing blog</a>, where he advocates, among other things, new recordings from Guns N Roses, ITunes alternating between fantastic and dogshit, and the year in metal. I'd call him a rennaissance man, but <a href="http://www.lovefilm.com/lovefilm/images/products/7/13427-large.jpg">I fear that the connotations of that phrase have shifted in years past</a>. Thus, I will call him, simply the man.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-69817070273833361722007-05-21T20:39:00.000-07:002007-05-21T21:22:45.654-07:00...Now with 50% More Self-Serving Ego!!<a href="http://eit.utoledo.edu/LSG/Images/thumbs_up.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://eit.utoledo.edu/LSG/Images/thumbs_up.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/05/21/703390/Dead_Rabbit_-_Out_of_Our_Heads.mp3&myTitle=Dead_Rabbit_-_Out_...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/703390-96f"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/05/21/703390/Dead_Rabbit_-_Out_of_Our_Heads.mp3&myTitle=Dead_Rabbit_-_Out_...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/703390-96f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/deadrabbitmusic">Dead Rabbit</a> - Out of our Heads<br /><br />About a week ago, I was ravaging the interweb looking for a set of Tapes 'N Tapes demos that I wanted mainly because I knew far dumber people that had them, and I was jealous. About an hour in, foaming at the mouth over my failure, I stumbled into a blog that mentioned the Tapes, but only as a reference point for a band that they deemed vastly superior. While I refuse to rank the two (in part, because I was late to the party, and wouldn't want to lose credibility if, in fact, Dead Rabbit ARE superior), I was quite impressed with the music (albeit stymied by their refusal to mention ANYWHERE where I can buy the album).<br /><br />This is where you faithful readers come in. Buy it at <a href="http://www.thetrashbar.com/calendar.php#">Trash Bar</a> tomorrow, when they play from 8-9 with an open bar! And as for you 15 other readers, wondering what you have to gain from reading a post that is essentially a love letter to Ryan in the hopes that I can get my mitts on this CD, just consider yourselves lucky to find out about this band now, from me, and not later, out of distorted speakers at the Buckle. Every song on their MySpace is dope, and it's nice to hear a band with a slight vibe. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/psychedelicfurs1 ">Psychedelic Furs</a> vibe. <br /><br />[fist thrust into air] John Hughes Movies Forever [/fist thrust into air]<br /><br />-----------------------------------<br /><br />In other news, I plunged deeply into the Matrix on Saturday, acquiring posh luxury box tickets for the Brewers game, and getting into a VIP bar in left field. This is only noteworthy because the Maitre D of said establishment... HAD A HOOK HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />While I value my membership in the proletariat, I would totally sell out, yuppify, and vote republican if I could see a sharp upswing in day-to-day hook-handed encounters.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-18387364631496889362007-05-14T19:01:00.000-07:002007-05-21T20:29:13.212-07:00Engine, Engine, No. 9...<a href="http://www.uscibooks.com/taylor/locomotive.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.uscibooks.com/taylor/locomotive.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/apollo2/files/2007/05/14/644970/11_Engine.mp3&myTitle=11_Engine.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/644970-8c2"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/apollo2/files/2007/05/14/644970/11_Engine.mp3&myTitle=11_Engine.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/644970-8c2" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href=" http://www.myspace.com/neutralmilkhotel ">Neutral Milk Hotel</a> - "Engine"<br /><br />Gibberish is underrated. If you scour the reviews section of Amazon, amongst other places, it's tough not to be inundated with sour-grapes hack music critics that deny any set of lyrics not going from point "A" to point "B" in the strightforward manner advocated by grandmothers, Republicans, and ESL students alike.<br /><br />Nonsense can be a gorgeous phenomenon; just ask <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Carroll">Lewis Carroll</a>, <a href="http://www.nndb.com/people/539/000109212/cam-ron.jpg">killa cam</a>, or <a href="http://uwec.facebook.com/profile.php?id=59501822">anyone that has ever taken mushrooms</a>. Jeff Mangum, the driving force behind Psychedelic revivalists Neutral Milk Hotel, is another staunch advocate of the compelling power of acid-headed gobbledygook.<br /><br />Currently a recluse in the mode of Brian Wilson (circa-1980) or Sly Stone (until he re-emerged with that <a href="http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/8/4/5/4/9384548-9384551-slarge.jpg">shitty blonde mohawk</a>), Mangum spent most of the 1990's releasing groundbreaking experimental recordings as a member of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_6">Elephant6 Collective</a>, culminating in the 1998 landmark recording <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Aeroplane-Over-Neutral-Milk-Hotel/dp/B0000019PA">"In the Aeroplane Over the Sea"</a>. While the bare emotional content and bat-shit crazy lyrics ultimately pushed dude off the deep-end, he did leave us one last reminder of his unparalleled talent: 1998 b-side "Engine".<br /><br />Much like Van Morrison's work in the late 60's and early 70's, Mangum's voice exists as a conduit for lyrics channeled from a place unknown to singer and listener alike. Attempting to transcribe these words devoid of sonic context would make them look ridiculous, bold poetic structure aside. In execution, however, the beauty is stark and phenomenal.<br /><br />While the place of Neutral Milk Hotel in the musical pantheon is up for serious debate (it's hard to pen a mushmouthed, lysergic concept album about Anne Frank and not open yourself up to <em>some</em> ridicule), they undoubtedly rank as one of the 90's most profoundly unique acts.[1]<br /><br />[1] And using a saw as an instrument is fucking cool. Ask Armand Van Helden.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-92164565270977135012007-05-08T19:39:00.000-07:002007-05-21T20:35:01.358-07:00Covered Like a Jimmy Hat<a href="http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/ohe/services/condoms/condom.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.vpul.upenn.edu/ohe/services/condoms/condom.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/05/08/598019/12.The_Traitor.mp3&myTitle=12.The_Traitor.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/598019-f81"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/05/08/598019/12.The_Traitor.mp3&myTitle=12.The_Traitor.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/598019-f81" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/marthawainwright">Martha Wainwright</a> - The Traitor (2005)<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/05/08/598018/The_Traitor.mp3&myTitle=The_Traitor.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/598018-448"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/s03/files/2007/05/08/598018/The_Traitor.mp3&myTitle=The_Traitor.mp3&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/598018-448" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Cohen">Leonard Cohen</a> - The Traitor (1979)<br /><br />One of the problems with learning the difference between your musical head and your musical ass is that as you develop a more sophisticated palette, sometimes you skeptically (and unfairly) dismiss otherwise worthwhile material due to sins committed by vastly inferior artists. [1]<br /><br />For instance (unless you're my mother, you vote republican, or you're 10 years old), you realize that an all-covers bar musician is the lowest form of musicianship possible, far beneath even the toothless guy that plays the bucket in downtown Chicago and smokes metholated reburns. As the sensitive Abercrombie singer-songwriter, the Eagles t-shirt sporting deadbeat dad, or the "ironic" pop-punk cover band, each incarnation is still rooted in the idea that the only way to enjoy music is if you know it already. Obviously, all of these people deserve the business end of a Tyrannosaur phallus.<br /><br />Sadly, though, due to the staggering number of atrocious covers (is linking to the Ataris even necessary???), many otherwise sophisticated listeners fail to explore the world of covers around the time they stop purchasing Greatest Hits compilations (yeah, there won't ever be a post here defending those vile products). As a result, tributes like 2006's "I'm Your Man" fall beneath their radar.<br /><br />Designed to pay respects to Canadian troubador Leonard Cohen, "I'm Your Man" was a combination documentary/concert designed to show the dramatic scope of his influence across the music industry. From Jarvis Cocker and Rufus Wainwright, Nick Cave to Bono, the project brought out the kind of A-List names usually reserved for eulogies (Cohen, thankfully, remains among us). <br /><br />One of the lesser known performers, Martha Wainwright (Rufus' sister) fittingly reinterpreted a more obscure track, 1979's examination of fate "The Traitor". Loosening the tempo from the standard meter-perfect rhythm Cohen is known for, Wainwright reconfigured the track as a Randy Newman-esque construct, propelled along sporadically by the performer's whim alone. This new-found slackness makes the protagonists climactic realization about fate all the more compelling. By the end, the listener's only question is if Martha's version of "The Traitor" has unseated Jeff Buckley's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsa_xWLOghg">"Hallelujah"</a> as the most profound of all Leonard Cohen reinterpretations.[2]<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />[1] Another problem is that sometimes, you struggle to separate the music that you're drawn to with the music that will best facilitate your goals. Trying to listen to the new Lil Boosie album while I typed this was fucking impossible.<br /><br />[2] Yes, I realize Buckley's cover was actually a cover of John Cale's cover. Try harder.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-62069157173365167112007-05-06T16:01:00.000-07:002007-05-21T20:35:44.558-07:00This Goes Out to the Asses that You Don't Ride for Charity Fundraisers<a href="http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/newsletter/2005/images/DonkeyBall.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/newsletter/2005/images/DonkeyBall.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581678/Justice_-_D.A.N.C.E__Radio_Edit_.mp3&myTitle=Justice_-_D.A.N.C....&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581678-9ed"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581678/Justice_-_D.A.N.C.E__Radio_Edit_.mp3&myTitle=Justice_-_D.A.N.C....&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581678-9ed" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br />Justice - D.A.N.C.E.<br /><br />It was only a matter of time before my blog became redundant for anyone with an ounce of hip. As much as I wanted to avoid the pitfall of pimping the same new Pitchfork anthem as every other self-important jerk-off, the sheer staggerring dopeness of the new Justice single has forced me to compromise my vision in order to facilitate the shaking of your asses.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/etjusticepourtous">Justice</a>, who I've only recently been digesting (thanks to <a href="http://lemonparty.org/">Ryan</a>) apparently have set out to become the indie-Daft Punk, and I'm completely fine with that, especially considering what an abomination the last DP album was. As for the song itself, I've always thought the lyric sheet of any anthem should be less than 10 sentences. This clocks in at about 8, with none of the gristle that would clutter up a lesser jam.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-87340523202073553862007-05-02T17:43:00.000-07:002007-05-21T20:39:25.125-07:00I eat fools like Reptar<a href="http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/9406/rugrats7ll.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: left" alt="" src="http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/9406/rugrats7ll.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581829/Architecture_in_Helsinki_-_07_-_The_Owls_.mp3&myTitle=Architecture_in_He...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581829-801"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581829/Architecture_in_Helsinki_-_07_-_The_Owls_.mp3&myTitle=Architecture_in_He...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581829-801" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/aihmusic">Architecture in Helsinki</a> - The Owls Go<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581843/Sufjan_Stevens_-_Romulus_-_Greetings_from.mp3&myTitle=Sufjan_Stevens_-_R...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581843-a41"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581843/Sufjan_Stevens_-_Romulus_-_Greetings_from.mp3&myTitle=Sufjan_Stevens_-_R...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581843-a41" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/sufjanstevens">Sufjan Stevens</a> - Romulus<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/athena2/files/2007/05/06/581861/09_Stray_Dog_and_the_Chocolate_Shake.mp3&myTitle=09_Stray_Dog_and_t...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581861-263"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/athena2/files/2007/05/06/581861/09_Stray_Dog_and_the_Chocolate_Shake.mp3&myTitle=09_Stray_Dog_and_t...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581861-263" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/grandaddy">Grandaddy</a> - Stray Dog and the Chocolate Shake<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="340" height="60" id="divmp3"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581741/01_A_Minor_Place.mp3&myTitle=01_A_Minor_Place.m...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581741-134"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="340" height="60" name="divmp3" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashVars="myFile=http://athena.divshare.com/files/2007/05/06/581741/01_A_Minor_Place.mp3&myTitle=01_A_Minor_Place.m...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/581741-134" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object><br /><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/princebonniebilly">Bonnie "Prince" Billy</a> - A Minor Place<br /><br />Remember how 20 years ago, every indie rock band sounded like the Velvet Underground?? Jesus and Mary Chain, Galaxie 500, Echo and the Bunnymen, Sonic Youth; these musicians have Lou Reed's template to thank for their hipster lofts, hybrid cars, vegan diets, and dental insurance (looks like you picked the wrong horse, <a href="http://www.flowerseast.com/Originals/PYKE/32224.jpg">Shane Macgowan</a>). Fifteen years later, a similar revival took place, with bands like the Strokes and Black Rebel Motorcycle club making sonic statements hugely indebted to waters first charted by Television's "Marquee Moon". We're currently in the midst of another such wave, though only <a href="http://uwec.facebook.com/profile.php?id=59501822">a man of keen insight, vast knowledge of the history of recorded music, and a pop can- dick</a> would be perceptive enough to spot the inspiration: Mark Mothersbaugh's theme from Rugrats.<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Mothersbaugh">Mothersbaugh</a>, founding member of Cleveland post-punks Devo, traded his flower-pot head gear and his MENSA membership for a xylophone and a prolific soundtrack-scoring gig about 10 years ago. Since then, he's greatly inflated his profile by dropping aural backgrounds into Nickelodeon television, Wes Anderson movies, and all points in between. His signature sound, (playful tinkling piano, floods of soft-pitch percussion, and multi-layered lo-fi production) bears striking resemblance to various bands on the hipster du jour profile. What these people fail to realize, however, was that Tommy, Angelica, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, were all hip to his game long before the skinny tie crowd.Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1120681005052201988.post-46396448147312794652007-05-01T19:06:00.000-07:002007-05-06T16:42:28.785-07:00The Standing Still is the Only Dance I Know<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.lukecole.com/Roadside%20Attractions/World%27s%20Largest/roller_skate_VA1_-_web.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.lukecole.com/Roadside%20Attractions/World%27s%20Largest/roller_skate_VA1_-_web.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />About six months ago, various friends, co-conspirators, fans, and inspirations of mine suggested I start a blog. I did, maintained it for a month or so, and then blew it off. Little of it was of any merit, though the six or seven anecdotes about me being a drunken parasite probably elicited a hearty chortle or guffaw from a person or six. The problem, aside from hosting it in a more or less barren and unnavigable province of the e-wasteland, was that it was simply a text-based rendition of my popular stage show. You might of seen it performed before. It's like Gallagher, but you hold up the garbage bag to keep obscenity from staining your Hawaiian shirt.<br /><br />This attempt, while still ultimately bike-locked to my failures and inadequacies, at least attempts to merge my bloated, self-important prose, with the amenities of the digital age. Such as indulging in music from corporations, in a manner easy enough for even the most lobotomized of my acquaintances to figure out. As a mighty cymbal crash to mark the event of my blog re-opening, I present to you... music that I probably stole from some other blog a year ago and forgot about.<br /><br />-----------------------------<br /><br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" id="divmp3" height="60" width="340"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/files/2007/05/01/542840/Dismemberment_Plan-Change-11-Ellen_and_Be.mp3&myTitle=Dismemberment_Plan...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/542840-19f"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff"><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" name="divmp3" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashvars="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/files/2007/05/01/542840/Dismemberment_Plan-Change-11-Ellen_and_Be.mp3&myTitle=Dismemberment_Plan...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/542840-19f" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" height="60" width="340"></embed></object><br /><br />The Dismemberment Plan - Ellen and Ben<br /><br /><a href="http://allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:hiftxqwhldhe">The Dismemberment Plan</a>, one of the greatest bands of the nineties, essentially birthed every verbose, danceable indie-rock band of the modern-era, and then broke up before they could cash in on it. While the former of the linked tracks, "Ellen and Ben", showcases the sort of angular, cerebral pop that they would become legendary for, I always think of them for their daring, imaginative covers.<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" id="divmp3" height="60" width="340"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="flashVars" value="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/files/2007/05/01/542544/04_Crush__Jennifer_Paige_Cover_.mp3&myTitle=04_Crush__Jennifer...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/542544-395"><param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff"><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/divmp3.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" name="divmp3" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" flashvars="myFile=http://apollo.divshare.com/files/2007/05/01/542544/04_Crush__Jennifer_Paige_Cover_.mp3&myTitle=04_Crush__Jennifer...&myLink=http://www.divshare.com/download/542544-395" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" height="60" width="340"></embed></object><br /><br />The Dismemberment Plan - Crush<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj5S1RCUDvM">"Crush"</a>, by Jennifer Paige, is notable amongst the vast ocean of 1990's Jock Jams, in that the original performer has a first and a last name. While Robyn (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbgeEsOHytk">Show Me Love</a>) and Amber (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOaqgrtoMGo">"This is Your Night"</a>) went the Cher/Madonna route of the egomaniacal singular moniker, Paige clearly had enough self-doubt and vulnerability to invoke her full government name, qualities later manifested by the Plan's distorted, morphine-drenched rendition of the 1998 roller rink anthem (or, um, I heard they played Jennifer Paige at roller rinks. I was too busy... knife fighting).Stunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07928540810667209661noreply@blogger.com2